read in one long breath.

selamat hari jumaat tiket raya sudah dibeli tunggu faculty keluarkan surat bebas fiskal and letter to apply ERP dah 2-3 hari nak menulis tapi tak tau yang mana satu nak tulis bila dah menghadap laptop writer's block la pulak kan ecece macam penulis novel je nak block2 ni anyway esok nak pergi bandung book shuttle to jakarta next wednesday can't wait woot woot ohh kena pergi pasar baru juga nak beli telekung kuchy pesan and kain cotton yang ibu mintak juga mahu shopping di BIP nowadays dah tak kisah brand apa brand indonesia pun ok janji cantik and ada style nak tunggu shopping kat malaysia memang menangis la aku jawabnya ok la petang ni nak pergi PADMA nak bayar duit tiket yeay yeay excited!

updating life

good morning everybody~rasa macam dah lama pulak tak blogging kan.belajar,facebook,twitter,sampai lupa kat blog kesayangan ni.huhu.anyhow,semalam browsing2 kat facebook,baru terperasan malam tadi nisfu syaaban rupa2nya,tengok betapa lekanya dengan dunia sampai terlupa yang kekalnya nanti di sana.bak kata kebanyakan orang,dunia ni persinggahan semata.tapi kenapa dunia jugak yang manusia kejar?kenapa dunia jugak masyarakat pandang.perbuatan kita tak pernah dinilai dari sudut agama.ada jugak segelintir kelompok yang menilai dari sudut agama semata.bukan niat saya nak condemn mereka,astaghfirullah,jauh tersimpang dari apa yang cuba saya sampaikan.harap jangan salah faham.apa yang cuba saya luahkan di sini ialah kelompok yang terlalu taksub dengan agama sehingga lupa yang dunia-Akhirat harusnya seimbang.biar tenang jiwa,aman akal,subur hati,sihat tubuh badan.

bukan nak membuka pekung di dada atau mendabik diri dengan ilmu agama yang hanya secangkir ni,tapi pengalaman hidup memang membuktikan wujud manusia macam ni..

contoh:

Mr X sedang duduk2 di patio rumah mentuanya bersama anak saudara isterinya. (read:he lives there,at his mother-in-law's place) sambil berborak2,timbul topik si anak saudara tak berduit kerana masih belum mendapat kerja tetap.(oh,si anak saudara itu merupakan bekas pelajar sebuah sekolah menengah arab di semenanjung tanah air)

Mr X : alaa..relax la Malik (bukan nama sebenar)..tahu tak duit ni tak penting pun dalam hidup..

Malik: ish..tadelah tak penting langsung..ada kepentingan jugak duit tu.kalau tade duit macam mane nak makan?

Mr X : Uncle X cakap betul..uncle X belajar dalam kitab ada cakap yang duit tak penting..(tipu betul,kitab mana ada mulut nak cakap.hehe)

(oh,Mr X merupakan ahli sekumpulan aktivis Islam yang terkenal di Malaysia.ooppss..absolutely bukan al-arqam.itu ayahanda saya yang ikut dulu.hangat2 tahi ayam je.hehe.Mr X tidak bekerja dan menuntut ilmu agamanya di Bandung.which part of Bandung.i don't know.)

Malik : eh mana ada. Nabi Muhammad SAW pun ada cakap, bekerjalah kamu seperti hidup 1000 tahun lagi, dan beribadatlah kamu seperti kamu mati esok hari.

dan perdebatan terus berlaku sehingga akhirnya tiada kata putus yang dicapai.masih dengan pendirian masing2.lalu, Mr X pun meninggalkan Malik mencari isterinya Mrs X di dapur.

Mr X : you..i nak balik Bandung la..diorang dah panggil balik ni.

Mrs X : ok baliklah..

Mr X : .....

Mrs X : so you diri sebelah i nak apa lagi ni?

Mr X : i nak duit..apa lagi..(dengan muka paling innocent sekali)

TOINKKKKK!!!!(anum pinjam toink jap)

pulak dah~~~tadi punya hebat hujah dia berdebat dengan anak buah dia nak menegakkan pegangan dia.kitab dia.tiba2 sekarang mintak duit.kat isteri pulak tu..hebat.hebat ajaran ustaz dari bandung tu.can't he see the contradiction?Mr X ni pada pendapat saya,telah dikaburi matanya dengan serban dan jubah putih tok gurunya.dengan ayat2 suci yang dilagukan oleh kelompoknya.seharusnya dia periksa kesahihan ilmu yang mahu dipelajari.bukan sekadar,"oh kelompok ini di Bandung,kota islam.harus yang betul..itu ini segala.." apa dah habis ke ustaz dan alim ulama kat Malaysia sampai nak membuang duit isteri nak datang ke Bandung.duit habis beli tiket flight ulang-alik.anak2 nak makan apa nanti?

sekarang ni,tak payah sampai ke bandung,sekarang kan dunia tanpa batas.click je kat mouse tu..berduyun-duyun keluar.tapi perlu ditapis.bukan diterima semua bulat2.tak pun buatla conference dekat ym ke skype  ke..haa..kan boleh..mungkin dah betul saat terdetik hati Mr X nak berubah menjadi muslim sejati.Alhamdulillah, tapi didikan dari pihak yang salah boleh membawa ke arah kesesatan,bukan Firdausi yang menjadi imbalan nanti, takut Jahannam yang membakar diri.

cerita ni buat renungan kita bersama.yang elok jadikan teladan,yang tak elok,jadikan sempadan.manusia insan lemah,khilaf itu memang sering berlaku.tapi sama2 lah ambil iktibar dari perkara yang dah berlalu.seperti George Santayana berkata dalam tulisannya Reason in Common sense,The Life of Reason,

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

terbaca di satu artikel (sila betulkan andai tersilap) bahawa Allah akan mengangkat ke langit amalan kita di malam nisfu syaaban,mengampunkan dosa bagi hambaNya yang memohon keampunan,mengabulkan doa hambaNya yang berdoa.


jadi..belek2 diari,kenang2 memori,sejauh mana kita dah jalan,setinggi mana timbunan amalan kita,seberat mana dosa yang tergalas.ingat semula buku amalan kita tu sempat di'update' tak?atau tak pernah update langsung?wallahualam.let us reminisce how deep we have embraced the beauty of Islam.let us be muslim because we CHOOSE to be,and not to be a muslim by CHANCE.






p/s : update life so that we can upgrade it! =) 

hahahahahahahaha!!! 2

ni pun sama..kudos to farhana azahari..sebab aku dah lama cari video ni..dari 2008..haha~baru tau ada kat youtube.haha~kali ni korang bandingkan yang original dengan cover yang dibuat oleh sekumpulan anak muda sengal.tabik spring la kat korang!haha~


the authentic video..





the cover video..







hehehe~aku suka iklan ni sebab dia tunjuk muslimah yang pakai hijab.huhu..lagu dia memang aku suka sepenuh hati la..haha~ok la..sekadar mahu melepaskan tekanan.jangan marah2 tengok kalau ter'offended' tengok video ni.kalau marah senang je..tekan butang pangkah kat atas belah kanan tu.tak susah.kalau dah tak marah datang la balik.aku post entry yang best lagi.hehe..ok.really gotta go..later.bye!

hahahahahahahaha!!!

aku dah tak larat nak gelak sorang2 cam orang gila dalam bilik ni.hahahahaha!!adoyaii~oleh sebab itu aku nak ajak korang join geletek hati sendiri dengan cara menonton video kelakar ni.hahahah~mari ketawa.hahahha!oh sebenarnya kudos to cik t-rex sebab dia la aku dapat peluang usha video ni.dah lama nak tengok,tapi tak tau apa tajuknya.so..lepas tengok 1st video..aku cari lagi related videos.and i found more videos he had uploaded which can be watched below..but i only put 2 most hilarious videos and 1 link to another cute video since i can't find the embedding code.hehe..sorry..anyhow..enjoy! 


this one is the one that had made him so famous that he was so surprised with the attention he got after he uploaded the mother's day video.ssswwwweeeeetttt~ =)





oh oh~this one is so my favourite!!!i couldn't stop laughing at this.hahahahaha!!!





ok,this link will lead you guys to another cute video.don't worry.it's a very short video.huhu.. 


the ugly aki



ok2..rasa macam nak tengok lagi video2 tu..haha!bye~

bakal aunty

hari tu cerita pasal orang kahwin.hari ni nak cerita pasal orang pregnant pulak.huhu.petang tadi.sebelum magrib macam tu.my mom called.

**********

ibu : assalamualaikum!


me : waalaikumsalam!


ibu : hai aunty lola!ke mama siti?haha~


me : huh??siapa?


ibu : awaklah..bakal aunty! aunty lola eh..haha *ketawa lagi ibu.geli hati betul beliau.*


me : *missed the part that ibu said "bakal aunty"*siapa?apa ni?ada siapa kat sana?


ibu : awaklah..awak tak nak jadi aunty ke?haha~


me : cop.cop.eh.eh.kita ke??really?OMG!betul ke ni?dah berapa bulan?


ibu : iyeeee~~hahahhahha!dalam 2 bulan macam tu kot.. *suka benar ibu sudah bakal bergelar nenek!=)*


(sayup2 terdengar ada hilai tawa,adam barangkali..)


me : haha..tahniah lah..oh my goodness!cam tak percaya je,bu..ibu nak panggil apa?nenek?granny?


ibu : hahahhaha~tatau la..nanti kita cerita.haa~adam cakap awak jangan cakap dulu.awak selalu chatting dengan kak ekin kan?saja2 la try2 tegur awak dah boleh jadi aunty ke..tengok dia nak bukak cerita tak.huhu..


me : ohh..ok2.tapi dia jarang online la sekarang.busy kot.it's ok.nanti kita tanya.hihi.dia dah mengidam ke?mual2 tak?ibu pesan dengan adam,kalau kak ekin nak apa,bagi.hee~


ibu : ok2.ibu tengok dia ok lagi ni.belum lagi kot.baru lagi la.haha!dia suruh aunty lola dia balik.haha!*dah lama tak dengar ibu ketawa banyak macam ni..=)*ibu pesan kat adam,sudah2.kena berubah.dah nak jadi bapak.bawak2 solat and mengaji.


me : betul2!kena berubah.hehe..


ibu : oklah.ibu nak kena hantar adik.nak hantar hadiah kat kawan dia.birthday kot..


me : eleh,kawan ke girlfriend?hehe


ibu : haha!entahlah.pada ibu sama je.semua kawan.haha!!*ketawa lagi Puan Azizah..hee~*


me : ok.thanks bagitau!ibu hati2~assalamualaikum..


ibu : waalaikumsalam~

**********

speechless..=))) tadi..lepas dinner,ibu call lagi.

**********

ibu : assalamualaikum!hello mama lola!! *ceria benar suara ibu..=)*

me : waalaikumsalam,nenek!haha~*imagining my mom being a granny~haha..*

ibu : dah dinner?kitorang kat selera bujang ni..

me : dah..baru lepas..huhu..

ibu : sekejap eh..cakap dengan orang ni..

(passing the phone to adam)

adam : hello mama lola!!!

me : hahahahaha!!woihh~~congrats woih!!hahahaha!!

adam : hahahaha!thank you!thank you!nak panggil apa ni?mama lola ke mak uda?

me : haha!tu la.aku tengah bincang ngan boyfriend aku nak panggil apa.hahahaha!

adam : kahkahkahkah!!sengal~hahaha!nah cakap ngan kak ekin..

(passing the phone to kak ekin)

kak ekin : hello~ *i know that she's smiling from ear to ear*

me : hai!!!tahniah~waahhhh~~~seronoknya..excited!!

kak ekin : iyelah..awak kan bakal makcik.hehehe~*sempat lagi nak perli aku over excited.haha!tak apa.hari ni hari kak ekin.bahan lah kita habis2.hehe*

me : haha~mestilah..

**********

and the conversation went on and on.few questions about the baby..passed the phone to ibu,and then said good bye.oh..heard adam shouted at the back.."jangan bagi nama anak aku pelik2!!" hahaha~silly him.i told ibu that i absolutely keep weird names for my own kids!haha!

thank you Allah..thank you Allah The Most Gracious..you bestow us with this beautiful gift.can't wait to be back home..=)

psssttt : *whispering* nak baby jugak.so kena belajar sungguh2.grad.work and save people.save up a lot of money and get married. hihi..=D

Shhh~~:2

been aiming the yamaha guitar since like Paleolitic.

haha!

purple guitar is nice.

oh.please people.

it's not because of yuna that i wanna have a guitar.

she's my inspiration though.

i'm getting one.

soon.

but not that soon.

don't think i can get a purple one.

vacation.

tak lama lagi remedial dah habis.judicium pun berlalu.semua orang pulang.aku nak buat apa?i did mention before that me and my family are planning for our family trip to somewhere around Langkawi.so i have this dilemma to go to jakarta this august or just stay here and do some shopping in Bandung.hmm..then i called my mom to ask her opinion.she said,since i only have 3 years left.jadi aku patut pergi jalan2 melihat alam di negara orang.Malaysia nanti dah balik,bila2 masa boleh pergi.betul jugak.inilah untungnya jadi anak perantau.huhu.

hmm..pergi jakarta buat apa?hihi..i'm looking for my drug.a rush of adrenaline.this time is going to be so much fun!where can i get my drug?sila scroll ke bawah dan anda akan tahu.=)

p/s: next stop, Bali?? ;P

perasaan dan perasan

AMARAN: sila baca dengan hati2.aku tak tulis dua perkataan yang sama untuk dibandingkan.harap maklum.


agak2 la kan.sama tak perasaan dan perasan?sangat tertanya-tanya bila ada orang perasan yang aku ada perasaan pada dia.ooppss..konteks perasan dalam entry kali ini bukan bererti sedar ye teman2..ni perasan yang kebanyakan disebut sebagai "perasantan".mungkinkah manusia ini perah santan hari2 sehingga otaknya juga menjadi berlemak dengan santan yang menyebabkan neuron di otak tidak dapat menerima action potential yang bersesuaian dan menepati kriteria dunia realiti.sudah merepek.haha!


der..bajet la aku nak feeling2 dengan kau.debar2 kejadahnya..please lah.seterang2 lampu neon,terang lagi lampu bilik aku ni.bila dah terang apa kau nampak?meh aku tolong kau jawab.kau nampak aku sayang ahmad fakharuddin kamil SAHAJA.apa sengal sangat kau ni sampai nak cakap2 kat orang aku jealous dengan kau la..macam aku ni suka kat kau la pulak..apa kau mencarut ni weh?kau kata aku jealous?ke kau yang jealous aku dengan ahmad fakharuddin kamil.heh.jealous cakap jela.tapi aku peduli apa sebab aku tak usik kau.entah apa saja la yang kau maki belakang aku kan?kalau aku jumpa kau,aku tak pandang muka,bukan sebab debar2 la poyo,aku tak pandang sebab kau tu tak ada significance pun.kalau dah kau insignificant,buat apa aku nak pandang kau.by the way,aku tak suka kau.so sekali lagi membuktikan aku tak perlu nak tengok muka kau kan?

aku tak usik kau,jangan kau cari nahas dengan aku.

hari-hari begini

something's wrong.here and there.need to fix them.soon.saggy feeling like this always ruin my day.it's absolutely uncomfortable to spend your time like this.i mean like,it seems like i keep on nagging over life.i've been namby-pamby over small problems kan?what's the matter?kasi la chance i nak tenang sekejap.boleh la i post happy and merry entries here.huhu.ingat nak breakfast lontong kat gerbang,tapi tak jadi.so i think i just stick to my digestive biscuits.later gonna cook something for lunch.i still have cadbury and master potato to munch on if i'm still having the munchies.neuro paper is done.next gonna be the endocrine system.yeah~i'm not gonna give up on what i've been fighting for.*sing:when you fall get up oh oh,if you fall get up eh eh~* =)




p/s:not gonna lose!

sehidup semati

sila baca dengan geli2 tajuk di atas.hahahaha~jangan fikir bukan2 ye kawan2.i bukan nak geli2 cerita pasal kisah antara seorang aku dan seorang dia ye.ini untuk nola dan palie la.huhu.nola ni kawan i from stf dulu.cantik dan manis orangnya.ex-classmate la jugak.cop.kau 5 Setia kan nola?haha.i think i've mixed up with everybody.sorry la ye.but i kind of sure that she was in the same class with me.anyhow,this palie guy,was adin's ex-classmate. what a coincidence right?comel.comel.TF vs.Koleq.haha!


the beautiful news i'm about to share with you guys is they have just got married last Saturday.Alhamdulillah.. Barakallah my friend. it was a beautiful wedding.thanks for the invitation but i just couldn't come that day.i'm so sorry.tahukah korang fighters 05 memang gila.hahah!majlis nola havoc habis lah..dengan kawan2 yang dah lama tak jumpa,bersua muka semula.kecoh tak hingat kau~pentas tu,i'm pretty much sure macam nak roboh dibuat korang kan?haha.my girlfriends.perangai tak ubah!i just love you guys la!haha~i heard from mimi yang ada announcement suruh turun pentas tapi korang tak turun kan.haha!lawak~


oh.i just knew that ain husin,another friend of mine  from stf has walked the aisle too,a week before nola's wedding. congratulations too!shida came to nola's reception with her husband but she didn't bring her daughter.saja nak dating kot.haha~itu memang senior habisla.awal2 dulu dia dah kahwin.dah sampai seru.Alhamdulillah.kita doa yang terbaik untuk semua.=)

tak kisahlah.yang penting majlis nola selamat dan lancar.Alhamdulillah. buat nola & palie, tahniah!moga bahagia hingga ke syurga kelak.kalau gaduh2 tu asam garam rumah tangga.jangan simpan lama2 buat pekasam ok?*ecece..cam berpengalaman pulak aku sibuk nak bagi nasihat.hoho*lepas ni i tunggu you guys punya babies pulak tau.jangan lupa jemput for baby shower.God's willing,i'll come to join the celebration!yeay~

**************

that was the story of my friend.HER story.what about mine?my turn?haha~lambat lagi la you..ibu cakap.."selagi tak ada tittle DR. kat depan tu,jangan harap ye.." sekian harap maklum.bagi kawan2 yang teringin sangat nak tengok lola naik pelamin,harap bersabar.mimpi korang takkan jadi kenyataan dalam waktu terdekat ni.hahahaha!!*adin,sila abaikan post ini.post ini sesuai untuk my girlfriends je ye. ;P*

p/s:teringat masa zaman sekolah lagi dulu kat STF..tak sangka sekarang one by one melangkah ke gerbang perkahwinan.how time flies..miss those time..

nola's wedding

this is just to give a glimpse of what i'm going to tell you guys later when i have finished my NBSS paper tomorrow ok? *wink wink*

waka waka!!

oh oh..bukannya daku tertinggal flight nak balik Malaysia dari Afrika ye kawan2.daku berwaka waka akibat esok ada remedial paper for NBSS.since i didn't do my revision enough, (ehem2*clearing throat*,mana nak enough kalau asyik FB,twitter dan makan sepanjang hari?) so i have to struggle today when everybody else sedang seronok berehat.ha.ha.padan muka!


bagi memaksa mataku ini untuk tetap tertancap di past years Qs and books, daku memerlukan spirit burner (read:pembakar semangat) untuk terus belajar.yeah~bunyi macam penunu bunsen je kan?hahaha!jadi.pagi2 lagi (tak pagi pun,bangun lambat lagi.haish!) dah pasang lagu waka waka sebab nak kasi semangat la konon2nya.tapi aku masih di sini menaip untuk menambah post aku di blog?haih


tahukah anda lagu waka waka itu berasal dari cameroon yang dicipta untuk membakar semangat para perajurit negara yang bertempur ketika zaman perang?wah!ala2 trivia pulak entry daku kali ni.hahah!tak kisah la kan.aku tak boleh nak tulis banyak2 kat sini sebab aku kena buat soalan.sekian harap maklum.segala info tentang waka waka song sila tanya pada uncle google.dia lebih arif daripada daku.wakawakawaka!*gelak bunyi waka2 kerana terlalu banyak mendengar waka2 song*


when she sings about soldiers and battles aku rasa bersemangat sebab yelah kan.i am a soldier who fights for my beloved country and my battle field is education.the battle that i have to win is medical course.to graduate as a competent doctor.this part memang rasa macam membara2.if i fell off my ride,then i have to pick up myself,dust off and just get back in the saddle.=)))))


You're a good soldier 
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up           
And dust yourself off    
Get back in the saddle


walaupun final exam dah sebulan berlalu,aku still kena berjuang sebab medic bukan course main2.kan?and everybody who knows me, family and friends,they all are watching me to make sure that i'm ok.so i don't want to disappoint them.and the remedial exam starts tomorrow (for me laa..) so i have to stiffen up and march through the exam with dignity left in me.so this part of the song really gives me that kind of feeling:-


You're on the front line 
Everyone's watching 
You know it's serious 
We are getting closer 
This isn't over 

The pressure is on 
You feel it 
But you got it all 
Believe it 



so let's rock the hall tomorrow people!




p/s: y vamos por todo.*i just love the cheesy sound from spanish*

cuti cuti Malaysia~

holiday with family is a very convenient gateway to peaceful mind from all the books and assignments.nice.i don't remember the last time i went somewhere with my family to just lay back and relax on the white sand or inhale the cool air on a highland or something.after i finished my final paper for DMS-HIS i called my mom and asked her whether we could go somewhere when i got back to Malaysia.you know,just to clear up my mind before my new semester began.so we had this idea to spend in langkawi.and a friend of mine suggested to take a island hopping package available there.unfortunately,i have to stay to amend my trashy pointer.ha.ha.


and because i cannot go back after the 2nd judicium,i am a little bit frustrated over the fact that i have to straight away start my new semester for the cardiovascular system before i can go back for Eid.well, CVS is no toy to play with people.haih..i don't think my brain can ever be functioning properly during that short period.so i asked (read:BEGGED) adin to spend a few days at Jakarta to play at the famous Ancol or just do some sightseeing and window shopping there (as if i can do that ;P).anyway.still in plan.nothing can be confirmed right now.everything is so vague in my eyes.hahaha~


and cause i'm still not satisfied that i can't go somewhere with my family,i planned to persuade my mom to go for a family holiday during my short stay or homecoming or whatsoever you call it.so i browsed the internet and sought for a few destinations around the Peninsula that suited our taste of vacation.hehe.and then,this morning,i called my mom and told her my plan.she was not quite sure over the plan,afraid that it would be such a hassle for me since i would not be around for long.well, since i want this so i think it won't be so much problems.all i can say right now is my mom is still considering this and that.you know.MOMS~ just wait and see.hee~

misconception

annoying people makes me want to puke!

bluuueerrgghh~

perasan gila kau!

bak kata kak nawal

HAHAHAhabislaakubahankausampaibilabila

lho bukan tipe gue sampai kapan pun

caffeine vs. gastritis

hi people.this morning i am not being myself.i hate to make such an emo entry early in the morning with my new cute background that can make me feel giddy each time i look at it.haha.entah apa2.aku bengang ni,aku nak puasa hari ni.and then aku terlepas sahur.terus bad mood.ibu called me to wake me up for subuh.and i DID NOT wake up.i mean,i THOUGHT i did,but i didn't.do you know what i mean?i thought i get up from bed and take my wuduk and pray.but it was just a mere imagination of mine who was peacefully sleeping!!!!idiot!i hate whenever things like this happened!when i opened my eyes,it was nearly 7 in the morning.aku rasa bodoh gila.benci ah macam ni.


ok.tu satu cerita yang memang boleh bikin hati panas sepanjang hari.berdosa dowh tinggal solat.aku nak jadi budak baik.tak boleh ke?biar ah!mana ada orang nak jadi jahat selamanya walaupun aku tau dulu aku memang jahat.ok now pun aku jahat tapi aku tengah nak jadi baik la ni.alaaa...support la sikit orang nak jadi baik.haha!ok.apa entah aku merapu ni.


anyhow,since i miss my sahur,i can't fast today.ok.sure korang kata,gedik gila!mengada2 cari alasan.bukan budak kecik nak mesti2 sahur ni.i know certain people jenis yang MESTI sahur punya kalau nak puasa,tapi siapa yang kenal aku sure tahu aku jenis yang memang tak larat nak bangun sahur,and since when pulak aku kisah nak bangun sahur except for the 1st 3 days of Ramadan to appease my mom.hehe.ok.nak dijadikan cerita.since i was 12 i have gastritis.but it is mild and i don't think that it might be getting worse yada yada.


and as you all know that i really fond of coffee,cappuccino,latte,mochacino,frappucino and all the relatives they got in caffeine family and even for tea.do you know that tea contains caffeine except for herbal and fruit teas?(however,fruit flavoured teas do contain caffeine as much as the common black or green tea) ok kasi informative sikit ini blog.haha!so,back to the topic.it is not good for gastritis patient to have these caffeinated drinks.i'm not quite sure the mechanism of how they could aggravate the gastritis condition,but it happens.and here i am.


and as far as i remember when i went to the clinic for meds last year,the doctor told me that my gastritis was still in mild condition.and the last time i went to the clinic this year,the doctor mocked me when i said that i'm having mild gastritis.ha.ha.so funny doctor.nak dijadikan cerita sakit aku ni dah teruk la.and i am forbidden to have caffeine,at least no coffee.tea is still allowed but not much.oh such a waste the pearl kacip fatimah cafe 3 in 1 that i brought from malaysia.haih..


dan yang menambah sebal dalam hatiku ini ialah this morning all of sudden,i AM craving for frappucino.err..and i even plan to make a cup of pearl kacip fatimah's coffee afterwards.how's that?sounds normal.but it's a SUICIDE for a person like me!oh,i have a friend who faces the same problem.farhana yem.she's been having this problem and complained all the time,and i didn't think that i might have the same problem and again.here i am.curl up in my bed when the pain come.


another problem.since i really crave for the drink,i think i'll take some precautions like prepare the meds and all,but where can i get a nice glass of cooled frapucino(read : starbucks) cause i'm a fan of it.but i have stopped purchasing from this coffeehouse.duwwhh~i don't want to be one of those who spent their money on that damned Zionis to crush my brothers and sisters in Palestine!enough said.so it's Jatinangor we're talking about here.you can't even find this place on map.so save your sweats.you can hardly find a good cup of coffee.my type of coffee.


so can you see why am i so torn up this morning?why do i have to make my life more complicated than it already does?haha.pure siti khadijah.i guess that's me.=)








p/s: might be seeking for a DECENT frappucino later around this small town.i have to.

if only

would it be great if i could just inject some spirit into my veins and then it would go straight to heart,to lungs to be processed and then heart back to be pumped all over the body.i need the WILL to study.is it only me to be feeling like this?feeling too impossible and irrevocably hard to digest all the stuff needed for the upcoming exam.haih.please help me Allah.this weakest devotee of Yours is in her frustrating and at her lowest moment she could ever be.i want to go back with a peaceful mind.so,Fakultas Kedokteran UNPAD.please spare me!

wahai hati tenanglah..

tak betah aku dalam langkah

lagak seperti minda penuh dengan sampah

bukan gulana tapi hatiku gundah 

tidak tercerna idea yang melimpah

kupujuk, kubelai, tapi masih resah

ke rimba mana lagi harus kuredah

biar kau mengerti biar kau endah

aku berlari bak jiwa kehilangan arah

tapi engkau tetap di situ nan gagah

genggam tanganku dek hati yang parah

rawan ragaku tak sudah sudah

jangan nanti bertukar amarah

seluruh hidupku bagai disumpah

khilaf diriku jadi bertambah

ampun dan maaf dariMu kusembah

moga terpimpin si Siti Khadijah

bahtera hidupnya terlayar indah

kepadaMu kusujudkan Alhamdulillah

10.44 pagi, 14 Julai 2010

Siti Khadijah, Kamar 7C
Bandung, Indonesia

rindu

rindu

p/s:aku tidak betah melayani perasaanku saat ini 

when tarzan meets jane..

last 6th of july was our 13th 6th day.so we spent time outside our usual playground,a bit far from jatinangor.we went to taman safari indonesia in bogor.it's an open safari.we could feed the animals (the tamed ones of course).it was so much fun!i felt like we were in the jungle.like tarzan and jane!

we watched a lot of animal shows there.we were educated by the guardians and learned things about the animals that we would never know.such a good place for children to learn!i'm going to bring our children here someday.hee~a good place for recreation too.=)

ohh..i had two big wishes that i really wanted to fulfill when i went to the safari.i would really like to have a CLOSE LOOK at the dolphins and TOUCH a snake!guess what?i made it!!!ohhh..let's just make the pictures do the talking..

i was so excited.and it was a very delightful experience.the sleek feeling when you caress the back of the dolphin..ohhh!!!i want to do it again!!

you could never imagine how feeble my knees were that moment.haha!!but i made my way.it was not that bad.it felt good to overcome your weakness.i think i can hold a snake (which poison has been removed,ok?) once again if i ever got the chance =) .

p/s: another adrenaline rush through my coward veins.can't wait to have another one.

i want to be free

i really miss my friends.from my primary school, from my secondary school, and then from my college..hmm..oh i really miss them so much.i envy those of my friends who can attend all the gatherings which had been planned.i wish i could come too.i envy those who study in malaysia cause they can plan to hold a slumber party together at someone's place and chit chat all night long.i envy those who study abroad and still can spend some times of their  holiday to meet up their friends and updating about the latest gossip among them.i miss those time.


i hate to think or assume that i'm living my life in a very undeniably dull way.such a monotonous life can kill the inner me somehow,someday.who knows?they don't brag about their life and i don't exaggerate mine.so what's with this feeling.is there something that i miss?did i choose the wrong path?it's not regretting,at least i realise that.it's just i haven't live the life that i've been wanting to.it's always been for the sake of people around me.and i'm bound to repay all the kindness with all my life.nothing else matters cause nobody cares what i really want in my life.


if they ever asked me,will they ever allow me to do in my own way?well, the answer is obviously no.i'm different from others.i can't be such a carefree girl since i know what the word "world" means.i can't be a woman who is free to speaks her mind.literally,i know i'm not what i want to be.i always be a parents' daughter, brothers' little sister, little brother and sister's big sister.always be a friend's friend.i'm practically responsible towards them.fine.i get it.but can't i have my own personal time?my very own life?can i?is that too much to ask?


it always looks like the world revolves around me,but it never is.cause i never feel included all this while.what i did is always for them.i realise that i never do something for myself.yes,i did a couple of things to indulge myself just to comfort my heart, but they always disapprove my doings.what did i do that i cause so much disapproval?can they at least try to think to be in my shoes?don't make me suffer cause i already do.


i hate myself cause i can't say things just because i don't want to hurt anybody's feeling.but no one cares about mine.i am mean and selfish.so do the other people. so why should i be so attentive and careful when to spit out words in my head?because i love them.i love people around me.but please don't cross the line.cause i have my limit too.please try to understand my feelings.i don't need people to look out for me 24/7 but at least acknowledge me for my presence in this world.someone who has her own predicament to overcome.


i give my all but what i get in return?well,i'm thankful to Allah that always give me the strength to carry on.at least be a grateful devotee to her Creator can assure me to attain a piece of ultimate serenity.the least i can do to keep my sanity in check is to believe that someday i'll be doing every single little thing in my life in my own way-peace &  love-