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guiltily pleasurable

Friday, March 30, 2012

bon soir everyone~i'm glad to be back in front of my notebook typing word by word, thinking of how to convey my feelings through my jumbling words.though..another rambling post from me tonight about my new experience working in the hospital.and please do not bother how stupid i may sound.i am learning and still coping with it.

anyway, from what i've been observing and analyzing so far,i am very much fond of this new field. my job is absolutely exciting! kalau dulu belajar skills on mannequins.now, you have to do it on a real body.a real result waits from every test you do, every question you ask will determine the fate of a patient.gosh,tell me how can i not love my job. 

however, for the past 4 weeks, i have also felt the downsides of this life. the sacrifices you have to make every now and then. how you have to fight your gastric every single day because your preceptor doesn't even care if it was lunchtime. how you have to force your eyes open until 6 o'clock in the morning because you have to observe your patient every 15 minutes, 30 minutes or every hour and your attendance for the next day full of classes and patients to follow up should be signed at 7. please tell me why can't i stop loving this job?

and of course there was this one moment, this very particular moment, i thought of hating this pure and sacred work.i nearly cursed myself for choosing this course. and it was after-rained time, i was walking back home alone with a sour face because the road was sloppy and full of mud. and i hate to stain my clothes and shoes. and suddenly there was this middle-aged man said, "selamat sore,dok~" in a cheerful and respectful way with a sincere-looking smile curved on his lips with gleaming eyes. 

i was taken aback for a while. not for the fact that a  stranger had just approached me, but for the kindness in his voice. a voice full of expectations and hopes that wished me the very best, so that i can proudly graduated from his homeland and served my country as the most honorably person should do to repay all the cooperation and helps the fellow citizens had given to us. i felt a little twitch deep in my heart. i knew, i had betrayed the faith others had in me. and i was deeply sorry for it.

next thing i knew, i was back on track. and here i am. yes.may be i'll be ranting and moaning over some small matters again. but insyaAllah..i'll never stray too far from the path. my heart, insyaAllah will not waver, though i have to face those displeasing skin disorders. *a little secret to reveal; i can't even look skin-problem-images in the dermatology books that i used to cry most of the nights when we were learning dermatomsuculoskeletal system back then*

so, yes. i'm loving my job. and i'm thanking every one for all the supports given to me in any way, shown or hidden secretly, directly or indirectly.thanks for the prayers and may you too, are showered with blessings from Him. 

till then..

p.s : i wished the stranger back and smiled.

p.p.s : Allah sent me a stranger to guide me,back to where i belong. Alhamdulillah..


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

do you smile like that when you were on the phone talking to me?

happy vs. hectic

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


hi!i'm sorry for the long silence..my new hustle and bustle life as a co-assistant in Hasan Sadikin Hospital had prohibited me from getting in touch with my beloved blog. surprisingly, i have survived and i am barely alive. adapting to the new surroundings so that i won't be getting any embarrassing moments of having what the society has been calling culture-shock. it's literally hard and taking its toll on me. i think i'm starting to see *imagining and hallucinating* wrinkles at the edge of my eyes. eye bags do not bother me as much as i did before. weary but i'm enjoying my new life. i have learned so much and yet there are plenty more of nature-wonders to be discovered every single day!so many things are done differently and i appreciate every element of diversity in this institution. hell yeah, i love my job! i want to share more of these..but i guess i'll do that some other time.

may Allah hold my heart and lead me the way to attain His blessings..
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