nothing

BAAAHHHH!~gila bosan. i'm not in a nice mood. i mean like since my last entry. lost it somewhere along the way. entah apa masalahnya aku pun tak tau. usually i don't care what others say. biarlah mulut diorang nak mencarut, nak makan banyak2 sampai gemuk.yang penting aku kurus.hahaha~apa aku maki nih? (-_-"). seriously i realised this morning that i'm not in my usual spirit nearly for a couple of weeks.i'm soooo down. people talked and talked and talked. i listened.i just listened. you heard me talking? yeah sure.you heard lola talking. but did you listen to what she was trying to say? sometimes i feel i'm not needed here.i don't belong here.yeah. maybe.i think i'm just being paranoid. ok. fine. so what if i'm being paranoid. insecure and inferiority are my weaknesses.i admit  it. i always trying to be honest with everyone.at least i try. it's better to be clear so that people know where i stand, what i fear, and who i hate the most. hey, i am what i am.i don't want to be somebody else. 


know what? sometimes people wish they were someone else, who (they think) is luckier, or prettier, or wealthier, or healthier or more popular.ohhh come on!don't tell me it has never come across your mind. bullshit ahh! but to know the reality that this person who you wish to be is actually in pain too.who knows? kau rasa dia kaya.tapi dia menanggung sunyi. kau nampak dia cantik. tapi dia busuk hati. kau fikir dia bijak. tapi dia rupanya lupa diri. kau lihat dia sihat. hakikatnya dia sakit hati. mungkin ada segelintir yang merasakan hidupnya dah cukup. dah lengkap.ada paras rupa, ada wang ringgit, ada ilmu dunia sampai akhirat. tapi sedikit sebanyak mesti mintak lebih dari Tuhan.weyhh~ Allah Maha Kaya.Maha Sempurna.tak kan ada yang lebih sempurna dariNya. kita ni cuma hambaNya,pacal yang hina. bersyukurlah apa yang Allah dah kurnia. 


mungkin aku pun selalu terlintas kat hati aku yang dah tak berapa putih ni..yang alangkah bagusnya kalau aku jadi si polan. kan bagus kalau aku jadi macam anak si polan tu. tapi....bila fikir2 balik. ada hikmah di sebalik setiap kejadian Allah tu. ada sebabnya aku dilahirkan sebagai Siti Khadijah, anak Mustapha Kamal dan Azizah (haa!pada siapa yang tak tahu nama sebenar lola,now dah tahu kan?;P). aku mengerti ada alasannya kenapa dilahirkan pada 16 September 198* (saja promote birthday sendiri.DUSH! hadiah jangan lupa!tahun 8 puluh berapa,haa itu pandai2 kira sendiri ;P).bila aku dah faham.dah tahu siapa aku. makanya, aku selalu ingatkan diri aku yang aku perlu bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah. so lain kali each time aku rasa macam nak "ish..kan best jadi macam *tuuuuutttt*" aku mintak sahabat handai rakan taulan,silalah bagi penampar sedas dua sikit eh? mungkin korang boleh ketuk aku dengan senduk ke. atau sumbat kasut dalam mulut nih. (-_-") apa aku mencarut nih??

yaaawwww!!~bila da merepek meraban sedikit rasa beban tuh terlepas la jugak..bagus jugak blogging nih ek?hmm..aku rasa aku selalu melalut. lain aku nak cerita, lain yang aku bebelkan.tak apa la..at least i'm blogging.tak ada la blog ni terbiar sepi macam teratai layu di tasik madu.eh?apakah??sudahhh~~


actually..what i'm trying to say is be someone who you think you are. in other word, or in the most simple way to rephrase it : be yourself. you are good in your own body. in your own way. find the good in you. you'll be fine. =)






p/s: next post ---> i'll be prattling about people that i..not hate..well,what's the best word..hmm..ok.people that i DISlike to hang around with..uuuu~~