hari minggu~

good morning!i woke up early..subuh pun belum masuk..huhu..ya lah..sebab semalam tertidur awal,hihi..alright.the main topic is Adin's having his first futsal match this morning,since the KUBI League starts today.it's going to be weekly match until February or May,i'm not very sure though.and i'll be participating in a netball league which actually starts today.apparently it has been postponed to next week on christmas due to some problems.whatever..

THE CONTENDERS.show us all you've got!i'll be cheering for all of you and special love and best wishes for my cinta heart!go kick those asses sayang!!majulah sukan untuk negara~

suka blog sendiri ;P

this is my latest,newest and cutest tumblr appearance..please don't ask why it has to be pink..haha!

and i just love everything about it..=)

p/s: yana nampak tak rantai  yana dalam 3rd pic..fofuler~hihi

special untuk yananana =)

hi yana~lola nak dedicate this song untuk yana..since the first time i heard this song,terus teringat kat yana.huhu..bertahan ye? LDR memang payah,tapi kalau akhirnya nanti bahagia,mesti berbaloi segala perasaan sakit rindu tu kan?please enjoy the song..=)

p/s : Alhamdulillah..cintaku ada di depan mata..=)

p.p/s : dedicate to all my fellow friends too..i miss you guys so much..forgive me for being so far for too long..

18 months..

07122010,The Stone Cafe,Dago Atas

thank you for every single thing..

happy 6th day~

enough with dramas.let's start anew!

hah!i have just realised how pathetic i am.i prone to share a lot of emotional stuff here, and happy stories?you can count them with your right fingers.haha!silly me.i used to talk a lot about dramas..duuhhh~life IS full of dramas.i think i should retire from being such a drama queen.hehe..well,i'm gonna try to lessen my sad,emotional entries cause i ain't that sad kind of person you know.i'm perky and happy person if you get to know me.it's just life has dragged me down.a lot.and i was drowned in it.but it's time to bounce back!=)

no matter what happened,i will fight back!maybe i'll be a bit down once in a while,i guess i just have to learn to bear with it and be a grown-up!there are lots of happy things and fun things waiting to be explored out there.let's enjoy every each of them.even for the simple small things,if we learn to cherish them,turns out we'll be smiling for the whole day.right?hope you guys are having a great weekend..=)

tongue of wisdom

“There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it, & surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus soley on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.”

-Karl Marx-

kapalkawan

aku sengaja menulis.aku mahu lepaskan semua.aku tak peduli apa orang nak kata.aku tak peduli apa kau dan mereka nak kata.

kata lah sesuka hati.sebab kau punya mulut,kau punya hati.aku tak berhak untuk menghalang.tapi aku punya hak untuk berdiam diri.tidak mengiyakan atau tidak menafikan.terserah mahu apa saja timbul dalam kotak fikiran kalian.

mungkin lancang mulutku melontar kata,mungkin pedas bicaraku meluka jiwa,mungkin pedih cakapku hingga kau terasa..tapi tak pernah niatku begitu.mungkin itu memang caraku.dan kamu semua tetap kawanku..aku sayang kamu..

tapi kamu semua tak kurang lebatnya..bikin diriku rasa terhina.eh, tak perasan ke?oh mungkin aku yang sendiri terasa?oh tak apa..aku tolak tepi saja.sebab kamu semua kawanku..dan aku sayang kamu..

hari itu,kau senyum..kelmarin,aku sebelah pun tak nampak..semalam,nak jeling pun dah tak sudi..jijik benar aku ni?hingga aku terasa dilayan seperti anjing.dipanggil bila perlu,andai tidak,pandang aku pun kau tak mahu..

itu kisah dulu..kisah bila kau hanya kira titis air matamu,cerita ketika kau bilang butir lelahmu..dan aku?menangis aku,keringat aku?aku tolak semua..ahhh..tak mengapa..mereka kawanku..biarkan..kerana apa saja untuk semua kawanku..kerana aku sayang kamu..

ini kisah sekarang.mungkin kau pernah lihat aku garang.tapi kau belum tengok aku meradang.cukup kutanggung malu.cukup hinamu padaku.rendah benarkah martabatku hingga bebas kau lukai hatiku?

jika yang kau nampak itu salahku,tilik dulu diri setiap antara kamu..setidak-tidaknya,silapku aku tahu..

waktu itu,saat aku dapat tahu,kecewa benar aku dengan sikap setiap kamu.menuding jari tanpa bertanya apa sebabnya.kau faham dia.tapi aku,tak pernah pula kau ambil tahu.kerana aku faham dia,tak pernah aku nak bebankan dia.tak pernah pula aku salahkan dia.

aku juga punya amanah.aku juga punya tanggungjawab.tapi kerana aku bukan orang penting,adakah kerana itu aku dipandang remeh?

ini bukan yang pertama.selama ini kubiar saja.tapi bukan bila yang jadi galang gantinya aku punya maruah..hidupku punya prinsip.egoku tinggi menggunung.takkan aku tunduk andai aku tahu aku tidak bersalah.

aku tak peduli kalau setiap kamu buang aku dari hidupmu.aku tak rugi hilang kawan yang sering sakiti hatiku.cukup dengan desakan hidup yang berbatu-batu.aku tidak mencari kawan untuk menambah pening kepalaku.dan menjadi musuh,itu bukan caraku.

kerana aku tahu tahap baranku.kerana aku tahu segala carutan yang terbuku.kerana aku tahu tak mungkin ada yang bisa menenangkanku,aku pilih untuk membisu.

biar kamu semua benci.biar kamu semua caci maki.tuduh apa saja dalam hati.aku tak peduli.kerana aku dah tak sanggup nak terluka lagi.biar aku hidup seorang diri,kiranya itu buat aku tenang hati,tak apa,aku sudi..

kalau apa yang aku kata kamu tak suka,jangan gelabah,sebab tak ada siapa nak marah.terserah.di sini bukan hakmu untuk membantah.kerana ini aku punya daerah.

my full-of-hatred passion

this morning i've got the urge to write on something concerning my passion, dancing.there are a lot of issues surfacing when we talk about dancing.and yeah, poll dance is a type of dance.but don't be so judgemental upon people who loves to dance or upon those who dance to make a living.at least not to me and my friends.this thought has been in my head for like what,a century.i don't know.so please bear with me.it's like a piece of my mind.do not jump to any conclusion.there are a lot more of pieces of my puzzle-mind before you can define me.ok.here it goes..

does it never occur to your mind that we are actually "forced" to dance.we dance.but not because we want to.we don't offer people to take our performance.yes,we do take payment when we perform but not all events we've been paid.and we're not professionals.we are amateurs.who's gonna pay for the costumes and make-ups anyway?

i don't know about the place where you come from.but from my point of view,as an UNPAD students in malaysian community,we hold a lot of big events once in a while.thus,we're always been "asked" to prepare dance performances.an opening dance,a closing dance,a zapin or joget performance etc. etc.sometimes we have to prepare a few dances for a single event.

please remind yourself that we are MEDICAL students, NOT art & culture students.we have a lot of more important things to do than dancing.we have a future to chase,a dream to catch and a hope to fulfill.and yet we put them on the stake just to entertain a bunch of inconsiderate and ungrateful VIPs or VVIPs.

people will ask (sounds more likely to condemn) why do you agree to dance in the first place?why don't you just refuse?let me ask you something.do you think that you live alone here or with your friends, seniors, juniors, group of malaysian students who live far from family?when a person or a friend comes to you and asks for your help that you know you can do it,to add up,the person knows how much you love dancing,can you simply deny?when you know no one else will do,no matter how hard the person begs them,you will be reconsidering for sure.i don't know about others but i do.

VIPs or VVIPS are the guests.do you think that the big boss will approve if the performance comes from a group of students who dance like robots?(unless it's a robotic dance of course) i'm not saying that i'm good,but at least i have experiences.and people knows my name because i dance in lots of occasions  (have to cancel that cause it sounds cocky.well,i don't mean to.).if me and my friends are recruiting students, especially juniors, to be committees  for an event or organization,the first thing that come to their mind is they have to dance.nonsense!please don't label people.it pollutes your mind with unnecessary and stupid thoughts.eventually it'll make you look stupid.

put that aside.what i'm trying to say is how inconsiderate a human can be over things that don't concern them.dancing isn't just about moving to the beats.it's more than that.a whole lot more than that.especially when dancing in group.we need cooperation among the dancers,synchronization with the other dancers,expression of the songs and passion in the dance.it's a symbol that we try to show them.we don't need applauses or any standing ovation from the audience.but an appreciation is enough.an understanding of how much hard works we put into the dance.

who said that dancing doesn't need to get focus and give commitment?a practice for a day may take the whole day just to learn the steps for a single verse,depends on how complicate the steps are.we don't play when we practice.it is always serious.like a group of corporate men having a meeting.it's just that we do our meeting with dancing.it's frigging tiring!is it too hard to understand that we use a lot energy that we are short of ATPs until a lot of lactic acid accumulate in our muscles?

there are certain people who don't like things we do.we are those who show off our body to other people.we are those who do things that aren't supposed to be done.we are the sinful people.oh..maybe these people forget that they come from a cultural race.forgetting how different the ways we are brought up by our parents compared with theirs.

if you don't like what we do,that's ok.we can't care less.but next time don't find us,asking for ANY dance performance.we don't dance to get humiliated.we dance because we love to and we want to preserve our culture.we don't condemn on what you do because we know you fight for your belief and we RESPECT that fact being the most humble servant we are to The Creator.so please don't condemn us for fighting ours.

and yet there are people who don't judge others easily.thanks to those who understand our circumstances.to any event organizer who still want us.thank you for the supports.please forgive me for my harsh words and sharp tongue.but if you don't think of us being like stated above,there's no need to be bothered about it.this is what i've been going through since high school.so please don't get touchy so easily.it annoys me.




p/s: i always think of how they let us,the bad people, do the dirty works and end up in hell while they,the good people, peacefully go to heaven.

pp/s: we, dancers don't really want to stay forever like this.we will change one day.to the better us.please pray for us.

ppp/s: i want to be a doctor.i'll stop dancing.soon.very soon.=)

saya kenyang, Alhamdulillah~

hai~ok tajuk memang sungguh tak ada kaitan.malas nak fikir tajuk.haha~sekadar nak kemaskini sikit la ceritera hidup saya.huhu.ingatkan makin senior,makin banyak masa belajar..sekali banyak pula aktiviti dan tanggungjawab2 yang diletakkan pada bahu saya.orang dah percaya,seharusnya saya berusaha.tak guna elak2..lagipun inilah masa nak asah bakat dan cari pengalaman.inilah masa nak praktikkan apa yang Tun Fatimah dah terapkan dan ajarkan pada para srikandi =).

mengharapkan pelajaran tidak menjadi tugas sampingan..insyaAllah..pelajaran menjadi satu keutamaan yang terpenting.berhempas pulas mengerah keringat,membelanjakan wang gaji sendiri untuk bayaran yuran ujian kemasukan universiti,menangisi kesilapan diri yang entah di mana setiap malam,hilang selera hingga tidak makan 3 hari,terlantar di kamar kekosongan seperti mayat hidup..sehingga sekian keseksaan hati ini tergilis..takkan saya sewenang-wenang mengabaikan janji saya pada bonda tercinta..

semoga Allah menuntun hatiku yang kacau..

banyak

banyak yang nak diceritakan tapi tak tercerita.
banyak yang nak diluahkan tapi tak terluah.
banyak yang nak dicakapkan tapi tak tercakap.
banyak yang nak ditangiskan tapi tak tertangis.
banyak yang nak dijeritkan tapi tak terjerit.
banyak yang nak dimarahkan tapi tak termarah.
sudahnya aku diam saja.
dan di sini mengukir kata mengulir rasa.
tak bersusun tak berlagu.
sumbang langkah kekok tariku.
entah bait mana yang kucoretkan.
semua tak jadi semua tak kena.
haih..tapi aku rela.
biar aku dengan caraku.
tak suka tak apa.
jangan pusing jangan pening.
kalau nukilanku bakar hatimu.
mudah caranya senang kaedahnya.
tinggalkan tempat ini.
kerana ini daerahku.
kerana ini.cerita.aku.

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