bila saya pakai celana..

sometimes i don’t think i live my life as i should.i always hold back.always hesitate to act.never have the gut to live my world.my very own world that i’ve created so long ago.never crossed the line. wait. i can’t say that cause i’ve crossed wayyyyy from the line that should NEVER be reached in the first place.i guess at least i did something in the past.a mistake to be precise.well,we learn from mistakes right?but when mistakes could give you pleasure, it has become some kind of drug cause you’ve become addicted to it.and each person has their own drug that they have to fight off the fatal crave to have it once more.and i have mine.my very own personal drug.and yet,i’m fighting the urge to indulge myself.i don’t want to live in that kind of life.drowned in my own hallucination of eternal heaven.it sounds more like a doom for me.i mean the real me.

i know that i’m always different from the others.from my siblings.my friends.my clique.always.and somehow i know that i’m trying very hard to be like someone else.someone that is “normal”.i can’t describe here with my own words in what term “normal” can be.cause everytime i tried to be “normal”,i would end up feeling in a massacre.despite that, i usually make myself believe that it’s ok to be me.there’s no need for me to be somebody else.cause nobody’s perfect. and i cannot be someone else because nobody can be me.

i am so having a chronic major inferior complex.haha.what a crap.i guess i have to learn to give a go whenever i feel like i want to do something.nobody can stop me.it’s not like i want to rob Swiss Bank or something, so why should i be hesitant to taste a few drop of adrenaline in my vessel?when i’ve become older and look back,i don’t have to be ashamed of living such a dull life and die in boredom.bluergh~ such a creepy thought to think.. 

i crave for adrenaline rush.i don’t want to be afraid.i wish to get rid of this cowardice in me.i hope for NO regret in my dear life.so please spare me.cause it’s just difficult for me to search the life that i’ve always dreamt.i guess human never get satisfied with whatever they have huh?well,at least i’m very grateful to HIM,The Almighty for letting me to breathe the air,to see the world and to learn from life that He has bestowed me.so let’s hit the ground cause the time glass will never be turned back..=)

i wish to have the ultimate kind of adrenaline rush like this one 

p/s: i just copy & paste from my tumblr.

it's originally my work anyhow. =)