last post for 2011

assalamualaikum..it's been a while since i last posted up anything here.thanks to the busy schedule that are always changing without prior notice. in a blink of eye, here comes the end of 2011.time does fly.last year i celebrated 2011 new year celebration with visitors from Malaysia, Fatehah and her mom, and my BFFs Fizati and Farhana, not forgetting Izwan and my cinta hati, Adin.

This year here i am,on my own,in my crib with Adin on Skype and the sounds of fireworks like the soundtracks that accompany my lonely new year night.*what's with the melodramatic atmosphere?*actually, i'm annoyed with the fireworks because, belum tahun baru lagi dah meletup2 dari pukul 8 tadi..what the katak laa kan? final exam starting from Monday onward with SOOCA as the opening feast of exam. yeah. i'm a dead meat. saya pasrah, tapi saya tak mahu menyerah. let me give my best shot for the very last SOOCA in FK UNPAD,Jatinangor. wish me luck?

anyhow, it's new year people.there's no need for new resolutions.enough with the never-achieved-resolutions from the yesteryear and previous ones.hehe.enough with just the thought of trying to be a better person than i am now. good luck to  me.and good luck to all of you.


p.s: ada orang remind kat twitter, tahun baru kita 1 Muharram..bukan 1 Januari.huhu..betul la tu..tapi inikan sekadar untuk sosialisasi..kitakan hidup bermasyarakat..

p.p.s: congratulations Anum on your wedding.barakallah..

p.p.p.s: i miss my friends.

tak pernah berubah

stressful.need to say more?

credit to bing search

happy birthday Taylor Alison Swift!

p.s: one of my favourite songs!

inside me

what i feel.

currently?

insulted.

yes.

I.N.S.U.L.T.E.D.

30th

"don't tell me it's not worth trying for.

i can't help it there's nothing i want more.

you know it's true, everything i do.

i do it for you.."

happy 6th day!

i love you to infinity & beyond~

Istana Plaza, February 2011

it takes two to tango

i guess you will never understand me huh?never get what i mean?hate me.blame me.i won't try to explain anything to you.tired of it.fed up.faham tak?FED UP!

kenapa la asyik nak bukak bGG je ni??

bon soir! today i feel like writing.but i don't know what should i post up here.well,of course since my life here is not as interesting as others,there's nothing much to share.actually,i have a lot of stories,but yeah i'm lazy like a pig and everything and what not.and that's why.pfftt.

snippets of this upcoming week:

1. netball practices every evening until Wednesday.

2. the 6th and 7th case.OMG!ze finalz are juzt around ze corner~

3. next weekend will be the ultimatum of all.Bandung Games 2011!everyone is in the house people!!!

4. Adin will be having his band practices for almost everyday too.gonna miss him for a bit.;P

5. tomorrow,my group is having makan2.and Izyan is making nasi kerabu.yummaaayyyyhh!!so,i'll be bringing all the vegies.well of course,since i'm hantu sayur.hihi.

6. so tonight,me and Adin are going to Jatos to shop a bit.

7. and i'm bringing him to eat pecel lele (a type of indonesian cuisine using ikan keli) near the damri (bus stop).

so..i gotta have my shower now,or else,Adin's gonna smack me for my lateness.hee~till then.bye!

shhh~~:3

7.0" or 8.9" or 10.1"
or just the hybrid 5.3".
confused.
don't know which one to choose.
it's okay.
i still have time to reconsider everything.

untitled

saya budak nakal. :(

unwell

emotional-->annoyed

saya tak suka pergi kuliah apabila kurang sihat,sebab sering jadi emosi.dan saya sangat emosi hari ini.


and someone has just made me excessively extra emotional today by saying something that is extremely irritating


1.aku TAHU la kau orang besar.tapi adakah kerana aku orang kecil,aku tidak punya tanggungjawab seberat yang kau pikul?


2.aku cuma nak dengar kau minta maaf je.mahalnya..


3.pantang betul pada aku kalau orang cakap aku ni manusia inconsiderate.aku kalau selfish,tak adalah aku nak layan benda ni semua.


4.nak kata aku tak fikir orang,kau yang tak fikir orang lain.bukan kau je yang banyak kerja.ooppss,lupa.orang besar kerja lagi banyak.


mentang2 aku ni kuli batak je.mentang2 aku ni tak ada jawatan tinggi.tak payah nak pandang aku macam aku ni tak tahu cara berorganisasi.


hello,aku dah puas pegang jawatan.dah bosan nak layan pangkat.please la.evaluate balik diri kau.






p.s: ya.saya sungguh emosi.


p.p.s: aku copy & paste dari twitter.malas nak taip balik.


p.p.p.s: okthanksbye. 

correction!his name is Muhammad Aiman~

glee

hi! it's me again~yeah.i'm sort of in the mood of blogging today, hence the second entry is posted. well, i just remembered of the latest episode of Glee.hmm..actually, i'm not a Glee lover in fact, i don't even try to watch it. but since Hajar, my housemate, insisted that i need to watch it for the past 3 weeks, i come to a conclusion, Glee is not that bad after all. fyi, i don't like HSM.like seriously hate it.*that's why i dislike Glee* but Glee is kind of acceptable if you know what i mean.

so this particular mash-up song performed by Santana and her friends (is it The Treble/Trouble Tones,i'm a bit confused.haha!) Rumour Has It/Someone Like You has caught my eyes, ears and heart.yes i love it to bits.please enjoy it too..




p.s : i think i like Kurt.he's so cute.gedik gila weh!

my fairy tale

bonjour!it's a lovely Monday morning i say.it's not too bright and not too cloudy.just nice to suit my mood.lovely!actually, i'd love to share with you people about something that i've been thinking of so long. fairy tale.everyone has their own childhood fairy tale. Cinderella was one of my favourite, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Thumbelina, Aladin and the list went on and on.

and the new generations have Transformers and Power Rangers. They even have Harry Porter to enlighten their boring days. Yes JK Rowling has done me a favour in broadening my imagination world. Thanks!

anyway, there's this one more story that has reached my heart and my life has surely been implicated by the series. Thanks to Miss Liyana Zaini for introducing me to the Twilight Saga. when i was a kid, it was Cinderella that gave me such a deep and satisfying feeling whenever i read it. but now, when i've become a grown-up, i didn't think that i would be affected so much like this, turning into a helpless romantic person i am.

it was an unsettling feeling, wishing that the saga will never end. i remembered how terribly i cried when i read the novels. how a lovely and amazing fairy tale it is to me. i wish it was real. it was like the first and the best fairy tale ever told to me. for once, i couldn't care less what others would think of me. i don't care how ridiculous i look in Adin's eyes. i don't even give a damn if people think of me as stupid and naive for feeling head over heels for this fictional story.

because this is my fairy tale. it is indescribable mix of feelings. i wish nothing but to keep this feeling in my mind and become the most beautiful memory of fairy tale ever.

Thank you Stephanie Meyer.


p.s : all the images are credited to bing.

let's roll and dip!

p.s : go ahead and sell me out and i'll lay your ship bare.

p.p.s : don't underestimate the things that i will do.

a short visit from Malaysia

To Miss Y

sometimes all you need is a little care.
sometimes all you want is a little attention.
but when distance make things fall apart
instead of strengthening the bond,
it hurts your fragile heart so bad
that i don't know how you're gonna get through this.
all i can do is to hope that you'll be fine.
and to pray that you'll be strong.
may Allah helps you to heal the wound and scar.
*BIG hugs for you dear*


p.s: in case you need an ear,i'm here. :)

29th

happy 6th day.

i love you.

good bye..till we meet again in the Hereafter..

Dear Papa Li,

your moustache always scared me when i was little.

you love to call me "kerepot tendot" which i don't know what does it mean.

and i hate it so much cause it doesn't sound cute to my ears. ;P

i don't even think it has any meaning at all.hehe.

but i think it means si kecil yang menyusahkan.huhu.

i grew up without proper guidance from a man called Father..

and you..though you are only my Mother's brother,my uncle..

my Papa Li..you were always there.

kita ingat dulu..

kita tak ada duit nak bayar duit repeat paper Chemistry..

Papa Li yang bank in dalam account..

"dah..ambik duit tu,bayar paper,belajar elok2.jangan tanya2.."

terima kasih.. :')

kita ingat ada tahun tu,

kita tak ada duit nak beli baju raya..

Ibu suruh minta Papa Li tapi kita malu.

bila Ibu paksa telefon Papa Li

rupanya Papa Li cuma nak kita belajar minta tolong dari orang..

jangan tanggung masalah sendiri2.

Papa Li bank in senyap2..banyak..

sebelum kita call, Papa Li dah bank in duit..

"dah2..Papa Li dah bank in pun duitnya..pergi beli baju raya cantik2.."

terima kasih.. :')

kita nak ambil driving license..

tapi duit gaji McD tak cukup..

tiba2 Papa Li tanya berapa lesen kereta..

terus Papa Li bagi duit kat Ibu..

"dah..pergi belajar bawak kereta tu.."

terima kasih.. :')

banyak lagi yang Papa Li dah tolong kita..terima kasih sangat2..and kita baru tau yang Papa Li dah tak ada..Papa Li dah pergi.. tapi kita kat sini..tak boleh balik..tak dapat jumpa Papa Li untuk kali terakhir..and the only picture of us that i have is this one..

Papa Li..kita minta maaf tak dapat balik. kita minta maaf dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki. halalkan makan minum, duit dan semua yang Papa Li dah banyak korban untuk tanggung kita..kita minta maaf sebab tak sempat jadi doktor to cure your heart problem and prevent you from getting stroke for the second time.i'm truly sorry..

kita jumpa di Akhirat ya?

p.s : can't write anymore.

p.p.s : terkilan sekali lagi.

p.p.p.s : kita sayang Papa Li..

bikin aku panassssss!

bonjour! this post should be about my preparation for Aidiladha celebration.but, that can wait. i'm totally pissed off right now. eeee..geramnya.. disrespectful people are sure getting on my nerve. damn it.

saya bukan orang yang menitikberatkan tradisi senior-junior because what i want from my JUNIORS/seniors is a little RESPECT. saya bukan nak anda rukuk sujud pada kami. kalian lebih baik sujud pada Allah yang Esa. tapi yang saya butuh dari kalian adalah menghargai kewujudan kami sebagai mahasiswa yang lebih senior dari segi umur & angkatan. nothing's wrong with asking the permission from the head of bureau or at least to let the elder member of the group to know about that particular event.

do you know how hard it is to establish that KENCANA group?do you know that you have to attend an audition, which WE have planned but yet to hold. ini slumber yaya slumber wawa korang gather your friends and call yourselves KENCANA..HOI!aku belum mati lagi eh?aku belum pergi KOAS pun lagi. even though ada orang minta korang untuk perform. aku tak kisah kalau korang nak buat apa pun. menarilah. modelling laa. go ahead. but let us know. and DO NOT use nama KENCANA sebab aku cuma nampak sorang je budak KENCANA dalam tu.

paling tidak, beritahulah ketua biro. sakit hati tau? korang nak bengang ke kalau aku post macam ni?korang tak patut rasa bengang sebab KAMI PUNYA BENGANG LAGI BESAR dari korang punya. please.kami senyap bukan bermakna kami tak tahu. kami diam bukan kerana kami tak nampak. and obviously our silence doesn't mean that we agree to ANY of these.

you don't lose anything by showing a little RESPECT to others, instead you gain more from us.

with that, i thank you.

p.s: bak kata Sara, "WE ARE STILL KENCANA."

losing the track of time

bau nasi minyak *wink*

i can smell "nasi minyak" from Indonesia..woot! woot! well, well..not mine of course..my brother is getting engaged in the early December. and someone who is indeed very dear to me is on her way to take another huge leap in her life to be someone else's wife at the end of the year! what a wonderful wrap up of 2011 for me. i feel extremely happy for them. *smiling from ear to ear*

well, to my brother, Idris Ridwan, it's time for you to learn how to take responsibility,bro.wish you a very good luck!hantaran telekung aku pos lepas exam ye?hihi..

and for you, my darling..*you know who you are* i wish you all the very best. *langkah bendul ni..jangan lupa hadiah untuk kakak2mu sekalian..haha* tanggungjawab seorang wanita itu bukan hanya pada suami & keluarga..kamu ada tanggungjawab terhadap agama & negara juga..jaga diri, suami & anak2..sayang kamu hingga Akhirat nanti..pesanan ringkas dari teman seperjuangan..pesanan lengkap nanti aku kasi on the spot.huhu..*i'll be waiting for the formal invitation card ok?*


p.s : i know my turn won't come. at least not in the near future..but i shall wait..patiently. :)

credit to Google image

turn on the NERDY mode

p.s : trying the wordless Wednesday post. 

from now on, will be posting photos  

under the label picturesque in the eyes.

temporary freedom

finally it has come to its end. tomorrow will be my last day to collect the specimens from my final 5 subjects. yeah~ i feel good! 16 specimens are done with their tests. tomorrow, i'll be observing for the next 8, do the second culture for the 6 samples taken this morning, and culture the 5 final samples. i'll finish my thesis this week, inshaAllah~

alhamdulillah..semoga tiada halangan..ya Allah bantulah hambaMu ini dalam menyempurnakan segala urusannya..limpahkanlah rezeki yang Kau halalkan dari bumiMu ini..Amin~

p.s : i've wasted my precious time. ya Allah, pinjamkan sedikit kekuatanMu padaku..

homesick

saya rindu ibu saya.

Sunday is ending

tomorrow is Monday. 

what a short weekend. 

let's be positive, Lola!

my Jatinangor sky.

there's always a silver lightning behind every dark cloud..be positive!

i saw this at the side door (my entrance) of the house..
beautiful isn't it?

cuba try test: homemade coleslaw

hi!as i promised in the previous post, i'm gonna share with you a not-a-secret-anymore recipe, the yummylicious coleslaw!wee~let's start with the ingredients..

cabbage, carrot, mayonnaise, milk, limes, vinegar, salt and sugar

first, mince the cabbage.

put them into a big bowl

then, mince the carrot

and mix with the cabbage

add mayonnaise. a lot of it.

and some milk *can you see the low fat sign?hehe*

squeeze some lime juice.

a little bit of salt and sugar.

wrap with the plastic wrapper and cool it in the fridge.

tadaaa!!!

that is what i call resepi yang mudah,tepat, ringkas, cepat, dan padat!korang boleh beli ayam goreng, or goreng ayam sendiri, then makan dengan coleslaw ni together with sos cili thai..macam KFC kan? tak payah bazir duit korang beli KFC. gunalah duit tu untuk shopping ke, belanja i ke..hehe..kidding. baik korang guna duit tu untuk beli buku, lagi elok!

so sorry sebab simple sangat..tak ada measurement pun..sebab badan dah letih sangat. sudah tiba masanya beta beradu..hihi. you guys agak2 la ye..kalau ada terkurang rasa, tambah2 la mana yang patut.huhu..selamat mencuba!

morning scribble

it's Sunday already!ahhh~ bila nak study ni..asyik mengantuk je. lepas tu entah kenapa pangkal kaki ni sakit pulak. ada terduduk kat mana2 yang tak patut ke?ke dah lama tak bersukan?or pakai jeans ketat sangat?padahal dah gemuk sampai favourite jean yang longgar *dulu* --> muat2 *before this* --> ketat *now* malas betul nak fikir.

one of my friend is finishing her thesis today, and all left for her is paperwork. then,she will only be waiting for sidang in the end of January. cool kan? it took her the whole 2 weeks to do all the culture and identification of microbes in a flash. and i actually think she had lost some weight when we met last night, watching Man U vs. Liverpool. i only met her once in the past 2 weeks. she was so busy. ke hulur-hilir lari nak kejar itu ini macam tak cukup tanah aku tengok.huhu.

saya sangat tiada mood. blogging sambil dengar Fly.fm streaming. serabut sungguh otak ni. nak bercerita, tapi tiada mood. maaf. ohh..tomorrow, my group will have makan2. i malas nak cook, so i volunteered myself to make coleslaw since it's western theme this time. maybe you guys have already known how to make it.or you guys can just google  the recipe, right? i guess i saja nak share with you. i've helped in doing it for Adin's group last Friday. it's a practically simple, cheap and most important,it's scrumptious macam coleslaw KFC! i'll share the recipe later ok?i'm preparing the coleslaw tonight.so i may be post up an entry about it tonight or tomorrow morning. ;)

till then..love & peace.

fluctuation of emotion

i feel good for the past few days despite of some unpleasant situations that can be left out of the frame, i'm pretty good.*happy* i've just realised that my mid semester (UTS) is just around the corner, and i haven't cover anything yet.oh no!*nervous* but i still have time. i should start right away.*relax* i gave the permission letter to the Polsek (Polisi Sektor) Jatinangor yesterday and they said i can start taking specimens next Tuesday. wow! that's fast.err..so i have to start my thesis eh? but i haven't bought the blood agar and optochin disk and other stuff..guess i have to start a bit later.*down* eh,hey! i'm selected into the Bandung's netball team!wee~we'll be starting this Tuesday too.i'm so excited!*perky*

well, i have covered my entire week in 5 up-down emotions.haha!

a late post in the early morning

this should be posted on last 6th October. it was 6th day but i was a bit busy and tired from the hustle and bustle life of mine. so, i apologize..


orang cakap, kita ni dekat.
tiap hari jumpa.
tiap hari bertentang mata.
senangnya..

orang cakap, kita ni selamat.
ada orang nak jaga saya.
ada orang nak masak untuk kamu.
mudahnya..

orang cakap, kita ni bahagia.
senyum sepanjang masa.
pergi ke mana mesti berdua.
ohh..indahnya..

tapi..

orang tak tau
kita macam orang lain juga.

awak tak layan saya..
sebab main game angry bird.
saya merajuk.

saya bersiap lambat..
padahal nak pergi makan je pun.
awak dah muncung.

kita tak mahu beralah..
hanya sebab metabolism of lipid dekat case review tu tak jelas
awak tanya saya balas
sampai saya pun naik malas.
tapi jawapan yang dicari masih tak lengkap
sudahnya kita berdua yang tak bercakap.

tapikan..

walau gaduh sampai kita menangis pun
walau tak bercakap sampai besok pagi pun
walau bengang macam mana pun
walau geram menahan marah sekali pun

awak tetap pujuk saya..
awak tetap datang pada saya..
awak tetap cari saya..
awak tetap sayang saya..

dan saya pun macam tu..=)

HAPPY 6TH DAY MY LOVE..

another rush..

it's quite relax for a Monday. i even had a meeting with the girls over some netball issues for the upcoming Bandung Games 2011. nope. i won't be the one handling it anymore. it's time for me to take part since it's gonna be the last time before leaving for clinical this February, insyaAllah..i'm looking forward to playing with the other girls. i miss netball. a lot. i miss the sweats, the inevitable "tanned" skin, and the aftermath. gosh..adrenaline. you know what i mean. it's my stuff baby..i haven't indulged myself for a very long time. yeah. i'm pretty sure to enjoy myself to my heart's content.

i wish we can have this forever

From the first time we met each other
I knew that we’d be together
I saw in your eyes
It’s just a matter of time

Don’t know if this feels like the real thing
Tell me what to do where do I begin
Don’t know where to start
Should I let you in my heart?

And all it took was one touch, one kiss
I’ve never felt love like this
I pray, I wish we can have this forever

I told you from the very start
It’s always gonna be about us
Just don’t go and break my heart
Baby don’t go and break my heart
I knew that we would make it this far
No nothing’s gonna tear us apart
Just don’t go and break my heart
Baby don’t go and break my heart

Girl you know now that we’re together
I won’t leave your side forever
You know that I’m yours
Baby you’re my only girl in the world

Now I have no reason to be alone
Fell in love with you, you are now my home
I’ll always be true
I see no one else but you

goodbye September..

it's October 2011 already. can't imagine how time flies so fast, leaving behind everything that i treasure and carving the memories in my mind. there's still time for me. there's always time for everyone. please be good to me October. and good luck to my little brother for the upcoming PMR. just do your best. nothing else matters..=)
 i actually don't plan on blogging today. but since i've already here, so i just want to leave some traces and notes to tell that i'm ok. life still has mercy on me. hee~ and i have nothing else to say.*clusters of words in my mind. and i don't have the mood to write them right now.*

till then..peace & love!

muhammad aiman haiqal

i got myself a new boyfriend. a boyfriend that i have never seen for entire life. how did i end up having another boyfriend?curious?of course i won't leave Adin! he's my precious..*like how gollum LOTR would say*=) you guys think i'm two-timing?hell no~sheeshh..it's my newborn nephew!yeay! he was born on friday, last 24th september. he's a libra like his grandpa. hey, baby aiman haiqal..will you like your aunty lola here? don't be afraid of me ok?*though i'm tough to your uncles and other aunty*

hmm..another life is born on friday.it runs in the blood i guess. all of my siblings were born on friday. good for us.it's the day of blessing. hey dear nephew..you go grow up and be a respectable person inside out. never afraid of failure, just get up whenever you fall. we'll always be there to give you helping hands.

with love & hugs,
aunty lola..


p.s: to adam and kak ekin, may Allah bless your family with never ending happiness.

life is not a garden of flowers

hey..it's a very long hiatus for this blog eh?i'm very sorry. i was kind of on the verge of throwing everything away, including my social life.ha.ha.i'm really not into anything. though i'm pushing myself. i felt like my heart is broken and torn apart. i felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come out.

for some unclear reason, i was secluding myself to the corner and i didn't feel like telling anybody about it. not even to him. he probably didn't realise any of these. he might be even thinking of me being childish and selfish and all the -ishhh you can list down. yeah. no need to worry since he won't read all the craps in my blog anymore. usually i'd tell him whenever i post up something on my blog. i know i'm being pushy here.well, not anymore. pretty sick of being a vain. anyway, it has been quite some times since the last time i told him to read my entry.hmm..

i was a bit frustrated when some of my dearest BFF didn't wish my birthday. *see..i was being childish again at the age of 23.for God sake, grow up lola!* i actually did not mind because i know they always remember me and they actually had circumstances they needed to settle.and yet the sadness really crushed my heart.it was loneliness. i knew it. sorry dears..i was being such a pain in the ass. and i'm so sick of my childishness. please bear with me.

this is the end of me. i'm searching for a better me.wish me luck.

p.s : a little attention would do.

3G : gelisah,gundah,gelana

Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. (He commands) that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden (to be killed) except by legal right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason.


Surah Al-An'am (6:151)

Ya Allah..pimpinlah daku ke jalan yang diredaiMu.

diet

dulu memang on diet.
sebab terasa berat badan bila naik tangga.
tapi sekarang dah jadi kelaziman.
dah 4 bulan tak makan nasi.
dah puasa ni pun,
masih tak teringin nak jamah nasi.
tak apalah..
anggap saja puasa nasi.
nanti raya dah tak puasa,
buka puasa nasi sekali.
boleh kan?
janji senang hati.
=)



p/s: i'm not fat.
and i'm not skinny.
it's my body.
i know which part that 
i have to tone it up or down.


p.p/s: i'm a little tired.
tak larat nak tulis panjang2.
sorry..

sedu

early in the morning of 9th Ramadan..
after a six-day-off from fasting..
i'm in the most full spirit..
resuming the track of fasting..
and suddenly i..












HICCUP!
ooppsss~






p/s: i don't like hiccuping when i know i can't drink.especially in a daylight of Ramadan.and i hiccup while typing this.haha~

mirage or memory

i don't know why. i think my heart has been yearning Masjid Putrajaya for the past 2 or 3 months.i always imagining myself performing my prayers there.is it a sign?but what for?i don't have the slightest clue for this.maybe i'm just missing my one and only Malaysia =).but why Masjid Putrajaya?hmm..it's ok.i'll find myself a chance to go there when i'm back for Eid.

credit to Mr. Google

ke-26 kali..

i love you.

i really do.

and i know you love me too.

we fight.

we cry.

but we never say goodbye.

together.

we're glued to each other.

there's only us,and nothing can bother.

being there for you is the only thing that matter.

i don't care,it's tear or laughter.

cause it's you that i want to be with forever..

HAPPY 6TH DAY MY LOVE..

another step forward.

another month together.

Baby SAYANG Adin.

p/s: aku puterimu.dan kau kesatriaku.

in silence

writer's block syndrome?
perhaps.
can't even write a single decent sentence.
KKN had really turned me into a zombie.
cool.

it's like i live in a different age of time.
not in the same dimension.
left out.
GILA punya!
ha.ha.ha.

i don't even have the slightest chance to breathe evenly.
banyak gila complaint!
pergi buat kerja.
NOW!

ok.ttyl.bye!

p/s: sorry for the nagging.

i know i have promised no more grunting..

and throwing tantrums here.

am learning to embrace the beauty of life.

sila beri tunjuk ajar.=)

breathing.

yes.
i'm alive.
still breathing.
inhaling dusty air.
and still bouncing.

Kuliah Kerja Nyata

won't be around for a month.
will be serving the community at rural area in Tasikmalaya.
hope everything will be fine.
hope i can enjoy this community service.
pray hard for me.
do miss me eh?
;P




p/s: will be listening to nora elena's OSTs along the way.

p.p/s: it's gonna be a bumpy and spinning-head road tomorrow.wish me luck!

heart of a woman

wanita.perempuan.gadis.makhluk Tuhan yang dicipta dari tulang rusuk Adam.

orang kata, kami perempuan..letaknya bukan di atas kepala untuk dijunjung.bukan juga di bawah kaki untuk dipijak injak *apatah lagi disepak terajang*. perempuan letaknya dalam rangkulan tangan sasa lelaki untuk dilindungi.dekat benar dengan jantung dan hati,untuk dikasihi.

sekeras mana lagak seseorang perempuan, masih ada ruang dalam hatinya yang tetap lembut.yang pasti lentur acapkali dirayu lelaki.sekasar mana aksi seseorang perempuan, tetap dalam dirinya punya hati yang ingin disayangi.yang akan menangis sendirian saat sepi dalam kerinduan.

so,it's not a bizarre sight to see a woman cries over a romantic scene in the movie.it's not weird when a woman wishes her man to be a little bit more romantic than usual.it won't be an unusual reason if a woman fell for just ONE rose with a simply "hi" note.

and it sure is not an awkward statement when i say that i am this type of woman.yes.i am a hopeless romantic person.but,hey..at least i know how to distinguish between TV series and reality.that's for sure.haha.

to every man out there, layan jela bila gf, tunang or wife korang buat perangai sewel/angau kat mana2 hero movie/drama yang diorang tengok.korang pun tau,diorang bukan dapat pun kat hero tu.lagi pun kami perempuan2 ni sedar yang itu semua,hanya lakonan semata.tapi itulah hiburan hati kitorang.hihi..tapi kalau korang ambik inisiatif nak jadikan hero2 tu sebagai sumber inspirasi korang bila gf,tunang or wife korang merajuk..haa..lagi bagus!huhu.

ok.merapu lebih.what i was trying to say is that,a woman's heart is easily moved by anything.it's just simply every single thing in the world can make a woman cries.orang suka label hati perempuan ni fragile.aku tak sepenuhnya setuju.sebab aku lebih merasakan hati perempuan ni is a heart of change.woman is a creature with unstable emotion.

IMHO la..just saying. =)

the lost song *finally i found it back!*

lost

hey..sorry for the long silence.i've got to admit that i had finished my final exams for a couple of days and yet,i haven't post up any decent entry..hmm..truthfully,i'm not in the mood.i'm not stable.i have a lot to share,a lot in my mind.about my lost darling purple umbrella.about our batch won the Olymphiart.about i'm on diet.about almost everything.

but somehow i feel a little bit lost somewhere along the way.feel like there's no reason for me to write.like i've lost the reason to live (figurative speaking, of course).

but tonight i feel compelled to write instead of this perpetual awkward feeling inside me,that has kept me from writing all this while, which i don't know why.keep on typing,deleting.. type..delete..undecided.maybe i just need a little bit more time.

will you wait for me?

Taj Mahal cintaku

another 6th day!

happy 2nd anniversary 
my cinta heart!

p/s: you know how much i love you.

there's no need to tell the whole world.

i'll let you know when we are skype-ing later .

then you'll know how much you meant for me ;P

the day after tomorrow

it's exam season.can't write much.have a great weekend!=)

a letter for Him

i just want to be good at stuff.
you know..
family..love..friends..
sports..fashions..self confidence..
and of course, studies..
i wish i was still smart.
like i used to.
*sad*

dear God..

hold my heart in the midst of disarray

i'm afraid of being alone.again.

O Allah..

hear my cry,listen to my pray..

forgive my shameful sins..

as i wronged my souls,

and forgot my place..

O Lord..

give me the guidance..

shall i be in repentance

i don't want to stray..

All the praises and thanks 

be to You, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful..

love,

Siti Khadijah Mustapha Kamal.

-xoxo-

ce citain ce citain

selamat sore!hailoh.akibat udah lama ga pulang ke Malaysia,jadi bloggingnya juga udah kayak anak Indonesia?kangen sama orang tua?ciss kek sangat la tu.snap out of it lola.less than 5 days left nak exam.haa.boleh kira dengan sebelah tangan je tu.wassup la kan nak sedih2.

hari ni tak sedih.cuma terasa hilang sikit.dulu biasa kalau dekat2 nak exam,selalu selisih dengan budak twinning programme dekat kedai fotostat sebab diorang tengah exam.so busy lah mereka nak mencari soalan tahun2 sudah.sekarang diorang semua dah balik.Alhamdulillah..lulus semua,tak ada yang tercicir.yang penting ada 1 minah ni tak tercicir.Mila..=)

Mila Rahman

Mila ni aku mula2 kenal masa main netball dulu.aku jadi GA,dia jadi GS.memang ngam habis la.tak semua orang aku boleh ngam.last person yang memang masuk dengan aku main netball ni,aku jumpa masa sekolah rendah dulu.time kat STF pun aku macam tak dapat nak masuk flow.huhu.mungkin sebab Mila tu sendiri yang pandai nak masuk flow aku kot.huhu.thanks babe.thank you for everything.

yang buat aku tiba2 rindu kat minah ni sebab everytime aku dah dekat2 nak exam,mesti aku jumpa Mila kat kedai fotostat MULAB atau nama panjang kedai tu, Mulia Abadi.mesti selalu nampak dia berkerut2 dahi tengah fikir exam.pastu mengadu takut and susah..huhu..Mila..Mila..*geleng2*

sekarang aku pergi MULAB dah tak ada Mila lagi.kalau ada netball,siapa nak main dengan aku?T_T

eh makcik!kata nak bagi number Malaysia?mana?mana?tak ada pun..aku tahu kau tak baca pun blog aku.biarlah rahsia~ecehh..rahsia2.tak ramai pun tahu blog ni.kalau sesiapa kenal Mila and terjumpa dia kat HUKM ke kat kampus UKM ke,tolong kirim salam ek?hehe..

dah la tu..aku tak patut melagha..ada pathomechanism yang perlu disudahkan.ada soalan yang perlu dijawab.ada broccoli yang perlu dipotong untuk spaghetti esok..bye~

countdown.

final exam lagi sepuluh hari.
stressed.
oh.
there's no indicator for stress.
but there's indicators for anxiety, depression..
yada yada..
and i've got everything of it.
shucks.

the beautiful me

p/s : too much on mind..final exam is coming.listening to this song somehow helps me to keep holding on.

chicken

kenapalah aku jadi pengecut gila tadi.haish

beaching..bukan bitc*ing ye..

i don't even care if the word "beaching" does not even exist in webster,oxford,nor urban dictionary.but i'm so in the mood to play beach sand and enjoy the moment being afloat on the water.ergo,me,Adin and a couple of friends will be heading towards Pangandaran beach tonight,hoping that we could reach there just before the sunrise =).

kitorang memang pakat redah je ni..baru la adventure kan..maklumlah,busy memanjang.tambah pulak aku ni adrenaline junkie.terpaksalah layan kerenah aku..huhu.*lepas tu Adin yang penat drive,since he doesn't trust me to drive in this country,just yet..sorry dear ;P*

please pray for our safety back and forth okay?wish you bloggers a nice weekend ahead! ;)


p/s: happy 23rd 6th day my love!

Saya Ibarat Seorang Mualaf

dulu time zaman muda2 dulu,eceyh..muda la sgt..zaman sekolah la senang cerita..aku suka gila dekat artis macam V.E , too phat, and semestinya Ruffedge ah kan..walaupun org kutuk2,dapat jugak aku tarik 4-5 orang jadi peminat diorang.huhu..anyway..pagi ni,adik aku Azna Ahmad,yang pernah aku cerita pasal dia kat SINI tag aku kat satu link from iluvislam la pasal this guy ni,once a ruffedge member,Amer Munawer.kitorang memang suka ah kat dia *walaupun aku suka Azan Addin lebih* sebab dia paling pemalu sekali dalam group tu,low profile je nak dibandingkan ahli yang lain.(tak tau la sebenarnya dia macam mana kan,tapi in public dia macam tu la..) so, what actually happened to him,i want to share this with you guys.i thank Allah for this amazing news.and i pray for me, myself to have the courage and chance to change for the betterment,like him, insyaAllah..

*****

Satu ketika dahulu, namanya menghiasai pentas dunia seni tanah air. Ligat dan lincah geraknya, seiring kerancakan alunan muzik. Tidak perlu diperkenalkan lagi, dialah salah seorang anggota kumpulan rap yang terkenal.

Kini, semuanya hanya tinggal kenangan. Seboleh-bolehnya, dia mahu lari daripada bayangan kehidupan silam. Dunia lalu mahu ditinggalkan. Membina kebahagiaan dengan cara yang hakiki. Mengenal Rasulullah SAW, mengenal Penciptanya.

"Jujur, setelah hampir tiga tahun menyepi, saya tidak mengambil tahu langsung mengenai apa yang berlaku dalam dunia seni. Malah saya sudah tidak tahu siapakah artis yang paling popular, siapakah yang terkenal dan sebagainya.

"Saya temui damai abadi dengan kehidupan baru. Inilah yang saya cari selama ini. Tiada yang lebih manis daripada mencintai Rasulullah dan Allah". Itulah pengakuan jujur bekas anggota kumpulan Ruffedge, Amer Munawer Yusoff.

Lima tahun bersama kumpulan berkenaan, dia berjaya mendapat pelbagai kejayaan. Malah apa yang diperlukan sememangnya mencukupi. Namun, ada getaran di hati, membuatkannya tertanya-tanya.

"Ya, saya tertanya-tanya selepas ini apa pula? Kejayaan ada, peminat ada, apa yang saya perlukan cukup. Tetapi ada sesuatu yang tidak kena di hati saya.

"Kemudian saya nekad untuk berhenti daripada dunia muzik. Begitu juga dengan keluar daripada kumpulan. Tarikh 27 September 2007 menjadi tarikh rasmi saya keluar. Ada sidang media yang diadakan bagi mengumumkan keputusan saya," ujarnya.

Setelah itu, dia kemudian memaklumkan kepada ibunya mengenai keputusannya berkenaan. Ternyata, ibunya tidak begitu terkejut dengan keputusan itu. Malah menyatakan sokongan dengan apa sahaja yang dilakukannya.

Menurutnya, ibunya berkata, dia perlu pergi mencari seorang guru untuk belajar mengenai agama. Namun, sempat juga berpesan agar mendapatkan guru yang betul agar tidak terperangkap dengan ajaran terpesong.

"Kemudian, saya menemui seorang ustaz yang menjadi guru saya. Alhamdulillah, beliau banyak membantu saya. Selepas itu, saya dapat rasakan perubahan demi perubahan yang berlaku ke dalam diri. Baru saya sedar, bahawa menuntut ilmu itu penting. Lagi satu, menuntut ilmu juga perlulah berguru," ujarnya.

Titik Perubahan

Menceritakan mengenai detik perubahan dalam dirinya, Amer berkata, semuanya bermula apabila dia diizinkan Allah untuk merenung ke dalam diri sendiri. Bahkan lebih daripada itu, dia cuba meletakkan dirinya dalam mengenal Rasulullah dan Allah.

"Namun saya juga tidak menafikan bahawa saya didatangi beberapa petunjuk termasuk mimpi yang seolah-olah mengajak diri ini untuk berhijrah ke kehidupan baru. Semuanya datang secara tidak dirancang dan saya mula merenungi segala-galanya.

"Kemudian, saya mula mengingati kata-kata ibu yang pernah dilontarkan ketika kanak-kanak dahulu. Ibu menyatakan bahawa kalau boleh dia mahukan saya menjadi sekurang-kurangnya seorang yang mendalami ilmu agama," katanya.

Pengisian selama menyepi

Amer berkata, selama menyepikan diri, dia merasakan seolah-olah tidak lagi mahu kembali ke dalam dunia muzik. Malah mengisi ruang-ruang yang ada itu untuk mengenal kembali diri sendiri di samping menuntut sebanyak ilmu.

Menceritakannya, Amer berkata, setelah mengikuti kelas-kelas pengajian, dia semakin tahu kekurangan diri. Namun, tidak disangka-sangka ilmu yang digali itu membuatkannya semakin mengenalkan dirinya kepada Rasulullah.

"Baru saya sedar bahawa Islam itu indah. Bahkan antara perkara yang membuatkan saya semakin sayangkan kehidupan baru ini adalah perasaan mencintai Rasulullah. Bayangkan, saya bagaikan tersedar bahawa selama ini fitrah kita semua telah diselamatkan oleh seorang manusia yang telah diangkat sebagai kekasih Allah. Dialah Rasulullah. Tidak dapat saya bayangkan bagaimana perasaan ketika ini.

"Saya ibarat seorang muallaf. Seolah-olah saya baru mengenal Islam. Mungkin sebelum ini saya mudah mengucapkan kata-kata seperti Alhamdulillah dan pelbagai alasan lain yang diberikan untuk mengelakkan diri daripada melakukan kewajipan sebagai seorang Muslim. Sedangkan saya tahu tentangnya. Sekarang ini, kefahaman itu semakin mendalam dan keyakinan juga semakin bertambah," ujarnya jujur.

Amer berkata, sepanjang mengikuti kelas pengajian, dia bersyukur kerana ibunya sering memberikan semangat. Namun, sokongan yang paling besar diteriman adalah apabila ibunya sendiri menemaninya ke kelas. Bersama-sama dengannya. Tindakan itu, lebih membuatkannya yakin dengan pilihan yang dilakukan.

Ujian sepanjang perubahan

Benar. Tiada sesiapa yang terlepas daripada ujian. Apatah lagi ketika diri mahu melakukan perubahan ke arah kebaikan. Ujian sentiasa datang. Namun, keteguhan hati menghadapinya dan kepasrahan kepada Ilahi pasti membibitkan ketenangan serta ketabahan.

"Ada dua ujian yang bertandang. Itu memang saya akui kerana saya sendiri mengalaminya. Namun, berkat kesabaran dan dorongan guru saya, Alhamdulillah, saya sabar untuk menghadapinya.

"Ujian pertama adalah membina kekuatan meninggalkan perkara-perkara yang tidak elok. Yelah, dahulu saya tidak nafikan pelbagai perkara kurang baik yang dilakukan. Jadi, untuk meninggalkan kesemuanya, memang kita akan diuji.

"Ia adalah antara cabaran terbesar saya untuk dihadapi. Bukan mudah untuk seseorang meninggalkan tabiat lama. Namun, Alhamdulillah, Allah memberikan ketenangan kepada saya untuk melaluinya," ujarnya.

Ujian kedua pula kata Amer, adalah perjuangannya untuk mengekalkan momentum melakukan kebaikan yang dipelajarinya. Malah mengakui, bahawa ia tidak begitu mudah untuk melaksanakannya kerana terlalu banyak dugaan yang hadir.

"Selepas mengenali Islam dengan lebih mendalam, baru saya tahu banyak betul tanggungjawab yang perlu saya lakukan. Bayangkan, kopiah yang saya pakai ini pun, hadir bersamanya adalah tanggungjawab. Walaupun kopiah ini asalnya adalah kain biasa sahaja. Tetapi selepas memakainya, ia menjadi satu tanggungjawab lain pula untuk saya laksanakan.

"Istiqamah dalam melakukan ketaatan dan kebaikan juga adalah ujian. Bagaimana untuk anda mengekalkannya merupakan cabaran. Jadi, saya berharap Allah akan sentiasa memudahkan laluan saya untuk berada di atas landasan yang diberikannya ini," katanya lagi.

Reaksi orang ramai

Penyepian dan perubahan yang dilakukannya, kata Amer sudah tentu tidak terlepas daripada menerima reaksi daripada orang ramai. Namun, katanya tiada sebarang reaksi keterlaluan yang diterimanya.

"Mungkin dalam kalangan teman-teman lama, tiada kejutan yang perlu ditakjubkan. Cuma mungkin dalam kalangan media atau pihak-pihak lain, apabila banyak yang berubah tentang diri saya ini," katanya.

Kemunculan semula

Kemunculan semula Amer di persada seni, kini membangkit iklim baru baginya. Namun, dia berkata, keyakinan dan percaya bahawa semua yang berlaku mempunyai hikmah tersendiri.

Katanya, setelah memikirkan bahawa dirinya mahu melupakan terus dunia seni, dia menerima panggilan daripada seorang teman lama untuk melakukan kemunculan semula. Namun dalam versi yang berlainan.

"Saya percaya semuanya punya hikmah tersendiri. Mungkin dahulu Allah telah letakkan diri saya di dalam dunia seni untuk menyampaikan mempelajari sesuatu. Sekarang ini pula, saya muncul dengan mesej yang lain.

"Alhamdulillah saya berjaya mencipta dua buah lagu untuk diterbitkan dalam album single pertama yang berjudul Seluruh Mahabbah. Ia ditujukan kepada puji-pujian kepada Rasulullah dan Allah," katanya.

- Artikel iluvislam.com