6th day

Hey you,it's 6th day!
How time flies.
My love for you is deeper than before.
And i'm sure yours too will never die.
So, let's celebrate another step towards future
And pray that we are given the strength,
To face this world together,hand in hand.
Cause no matter what,with you by my side
Everything will be alright.
I love you.

Istana Ratu Boko, Jogjakarta

August,2013

Short update

Finally,i have time to indulge myself in writing and whining again.yes.i don't know if there were any of you out there who cared enough to read my blog.but well,please excuse me for i was busy all this while.. *yeah right,lola..you haven't wrote any post for almost a year!* ok,i admit,sometimes i did have time but i just didn't have the idea.writer's block!and no tonight i'm just saying hello before properly write any topic.i've been coping with medical school.and lately it's hardest ever.so pray for my success dear friends.pray hard.thanks!

Tonight,i'm too sleepy,too exhausted that my eyes can no longer sleep.i'm mentally damaged.ha.ha.so i guess a little rambling will not cause further harm to my already damaged brain.hoho.i miss my friends so much.recently,i got finally contacted 2 of my long lost friends *not that long..we lost contact a few years back* through whatsapp and i'm so happy about it.like a kid given a candy.and my housemate had given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Imtiyaz Safiyya.beautiful name too,right?and another friend of mine had given birth to a handsome baby boy named Ayyash Al Fateh.awesome huh.and my dearest and eldest Forever 21 Farhana is expecting.she is currently in Malaysia planning to give birth in our beloved country.good luck babe!

Well,that's a glimpse of what is happening in my life now.not to mention my additional 6 months of internship that was informed to us 2 weeks before our rotation finished.*actually it was yet decided until a couple of weeks back.like whatttt??* ok.that will be all for now.bonne nuit!

my last on call as a co-assistant

Internal Medicine Department

August,2013

RSUD Majalaya

hey, i'm back! guess where i am?i'm at Majalaya! never heard of that place? mestilah..tempatnya agak jauh dari kota Bandung yang megah tu..adalah dalam 2 jam bawa laju2 kat jalan yang sungguh tak tipu, tak rata..sampai sakit badan ni..adoyai..anyway, back to the story..what am i doing here? i am currently at the Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology and i'm doing my rotation ala2 outstation la..we are given the opportunities to taste the sensation of being an independent doctor,particularly in the field regarding obstetrics. here, we will be experiencing in helping parturition (giving birth), curettage (abortion with medical indication), and so on..sounds exciting kan?so, doakan untuk saya terus bersemangat dan bertahan di sini ya kawan2.. :) oklah..dah mengantuk ni..badan pun sakit..tekak pun masih mual sebab pening dengan travel tadi..later we story2 lagi ok?bonne nuit!

Maybe i just think too much?

Bonjour!hey..there's something going on today but i don't have any clue what is it all about.i feel burdened and i don't know why.i woke up in the morning with a feeling of laziness.but Adin has cheered me up a bit though.at this moment,when everyone else is lost in their own world,i'm suffocating inside.i need to do something to soothe my mind.

away.again.

i'm sorry.it has been almost 6 months..but i have yet found the time to sit and share my story with you.i miss this place.the only place where i can be myself, where i can let myself loose without being bothered with those scrutinizing eyes. i shall be back, writing to my heart's content. i shall do..

low back pain

Happy Anniversary Addin Lollaby!

we might be fighting over unimportant matters

but we love each other

i might cause you upset

and you might make me enraged

but we love each other

in a blink of eye

it has been three years 

and we still love each other

adapting with each other

learning the kindness and tenderness

accepting the flaws and shortcomings

let's forget all the reasons that make our relationship won't work

and focus on every single reason that make it will work

because i love you and you love me too

happy 6th day & happy 3rd anniversary, my love..

i've fallen for you..i always do :)

damn. demam heartstrings pulak i sekarang ni. ada satu pengakuan which may sound like the utmost narcissistic confession ever done in my entire life.hahaha.lantak korang nak kata i perasan ke apa ke. ada i peduli? ;P

kenal tak manusia sebelah kiri tu?laa..itu kan i..you all tak kenal ke?.haha.sumpah perasan lagi pembohong.sorry la ye..gurau2 je..hehe.sebenarnya nak tanya kenal tak yang sebelah kanan tu?dialah jung yong hwa..member of CN Blue, kumpulan Korea yang famous tu..*kenal dia pun sebab dia join Running Man a couple of times and he was amazing!* the reason i suddenly cerita pasal dia adalah.....................

pada satu hari, i pergi kedai gambar sebab faculty mintak gambar sekian keping dengan ukuran sekian2..bila i dapat gambar i, i rasa pelik sangat sebab muka x macam muka i langsung. i nearly tak mengaku tu muka i.hahaha..nak dijadikan cerita, baru2 ni i tengoklah drama heartstrings ni..and i tiba2 dengan perasaan PERASAN yang hebat merasakan muka i macam muka yong hwa dalam drama ni.*sila ketawa sekarang.*hahahahahaha~ok,i don't even know where did i get that idea from, mungkin saja imaginasi i ni melampau hingga menimbulkan ilusi tanpa menimbulkan halusinasi. oleh kerana kemungkinan ini adalah delusi  i sebagai sibling yong hwa yang dapat disangkal dengan kewujudan surat beranak i yang berasal dari Malaysia, itu hanya dianggap sebagai idea..ok.fed up cakap bahasa psychiatry. you all layan je la i malam ni ye.sumpah mengantuk tapi bosan. hehe. anyway, if you all rasa tak ada persamaan..tak apalah..mata masing2 kan? ;)

p.s: yaa,jung yong hwa! uri olgureun dongil! ottoke? ;P

p.p.s: to Mr. Addin Kamil, try la main gitar lagu dalam video tu..dedicate lagu ni untuk kamu..*blush blush*

fragile heart

more than often
but not always
when my heart becomes fragile
i need to cry
urged to shed my precious tears
because my heart aches so much.

more than seldom
but less than sometimes
my heart is broken into pieces
but to put them back together,
seems like there's not even a single try.

when i push myself
trying to heal the scarring heart
is always like an unfinished dream
a movie with no ending.

though..
more than forever
longer than eternity
and this is my vow
to keep our promise.

guiltily pleasurable

bon soir everyone~i'm glad to be back in front of my notebook typing word by word, thinking of how to convey my feelings through my jumbling words.though..another rambling post from me tonight about my new experience working in the hospital.and please do not bother how stupid i may sound.i am learning and still coping with it.

anyway, from what i've been observing and analyzing so far,i am very much fond of this new field. my job is absolutely exciting! kalau dulu belajar skills on mannequins.now, you have to do it on a real body.a real result waits from every test you do, every question you ask will determine the fate of a patient.gosh,tell me how can i not love my job. 

however, for the past 4 weeks, i have also felt the downsides of this life. the sacrifices you have to make every now and then. how you have to fight your gastric every single day because your preceptor doesn't even care if it was lunchtime. how you have to force your eyes open until 6 o'clock in the morning because you have to observe your patient every 15 minutes, 30 minutes or every hour and your attendance for the next day full of classes and patients to follow up should be signed at 7. please tell me why can't i stop loving this job?

and of course there was this one moment, this very particular moment, i thought of hating this pure and sacred work.i nearly cursed myself for choosing this course. and it was after-rained time, i was walking back home alone with a sour face because the road was sloppy and full of mud. and i hate to stain my clothes and shoes. and suddenly there was this middle-aged man said, "selamat sore,dok~" in a cheerful and respectful way with a sincere-looking smile curved on his lips with gleaming eyes. 

i was taken aback for a while. not for the fact that a  stranger had just approached me, but for the kindness in his voice. a voice full of expectations and hopes that wished me the very best, so that i can proudly graduated from his homeland and served my country as the most honorably person should do to repay all the cooperation and helps the fellow citizens had given to us. i felt a little twitch deep in my heart. i knew, i had betrayed the faith others had in me. and i was deeply sorry for it.

next thing i knew, i was back on track. and here i am. yes.may be i'll be ranting and moaning over some small matters again. but insyaAllah..i'll never stray too far from the path. my heart, insyaAllah will not waver, though i have to face those displeasing skin disorders. *a little secret to reveal; i can't even look skin-problem-images in the dermatology books that i used to cry most of the nights when we were learning dermatomsuculoskeletal system back then*

so, yes. i'm loving my job. and i'm thanking every one for all the supports given to me in any way, shown or hidden secretly, directly or indirectly.thanks for the prayers and may you too, are showered with blessings from Him. 

till then..

p.s : i wished the stranger back and smiled.

p.p.s : Allah sent me a stranger to guide me,back to where i belong. Alhamdulillah..