it's just me

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
being the third child in family.
being a daughter seemed not enough to dad.
being a girl always invited sneers and jeers from the brothers.
so i fought them.
and i'm still fighting.
alhamdulillah,for the time being..
i'm winning.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
consistently holding the second place.
never got passed my own best friend.
and i kept on trying.
Alhamdulillah,5A's were in grasp.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
waiting for offer letter from my dream boarding school.
had to wait for 4 months.
Alhamdulillah,i was in i-don't-know-how-many intake.
i was an stfian.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
people didn't like me much.
i was new.
i should not be there.
and i couldn't care less about others.
and i fought everything with my all might.
Alhamdulillah,i won the battle.
people recognized me.
they acknowledged my presence.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
i cried.a lot.
school did take its toll on me.
i did not dare to give up.
nor disappointing my mom.
so i got up and faced life once more.
Alhamdulillah,11A's was my best achievement.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
patience was my best friend.
and tears were my hope
afraid was my only enemy.
waiting was a total hell.
Alhamdulillah,again i won.
India..wait for me..

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
drowned in my own fantasy land.
for the first time in my life i lost.
i never knew how to bounce back.
i lost my chance to fly off to India.
it was my own mistake.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
so i kept on fighting.
and i was still crying.
i kept on walking.
i kept on living.
and i kept on breathing.
not for my own sake.
but for my mom's.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
finally everything had been paid.
i was on the track back.
here i am.
pursuing my very dream.

i won't lose to anybody.
i know i don't always win.
suffocating.suffering.
nothing can pull me back.
yes i know my attainment aren't glorious.
but i'm proud of myself.
for pushing the limit.
for bearing with every pain.
for never giving up.
Alhamdulillah..

so let me be clear..
i know i don't always win.
but i won't lose to anybody.
and not even to you.