my full-of-hatred passion

this morning i've got the urge to write on something concerning my passion, dancing.there are a lot of issues surfacing when we talk about dancing.and yeah, poll dance is a type of dance.but don't be so judgemental upon people who loves to dance or upon those who dance to make a living.at least not to me and my friends.this thought has been in my head for like what,a century.i don't know.so please bear with me.it's like a piece of my mind.do not jump to any conclusion.there are a lot more of pieces of my puzzle-mind before you can define me.ok.here it goes..

does it never occur to your mind that we are actually "forced" to dance.we dance.but not because we want to.we don't offer people to take our performance.yes,we do take payment when we perform but not all events we've been paid.and we're not professionals.we are amateurs.who's gonna pay for the costumes and make-ups anyway?

i don't know about the place where you come from.but from my point of view,as an UNPAD students in malaysian community,we hold a lot of big events once in a while.thus,we're always been "asked" to prepare dance performances.an opening dance,a closing dance,a zapin or joget performance etc. etc.sometimes we have to prepare a few dances for a single event.

please remind yourself that we are MEDICAL students, NOT art & culture students.we have a lot of more important things to do than dancing.we have a future to chase,a dream to catch and a hope to fulfill.and yet we put them on the stake just to entertain a bunch of inconsiderate and ungrateful VIPs or VVIPs.

people will ask (sounds more likely to condemn) why do you agree to dance in the first place?why don't you just refuse?let me ask you something.do you think that you live alone here or with your friends, seniors, juniors, group of malaysian students who live far from family?when a person or a friend comes to you and asks for your help that you know you can do it,to add up,the person knows how much you love dancing,can you simply deny?when you know no one else will do,no matter how hard the person begs them,you will be reconsidering for sure.i don't know about others but i do.

VIPs or VVIPS are the guests.do you think that the big boss will approve if the performance comes from a group of students who dance like robots?(unless it's a robotic dance of course) i'm not saying that i'm good,but at least i have experiences.and people knows my name because i dance in lots of occasions  (have to cancel that cause it sounds cocky.well,i don't mean to.).if me and my friends are recruiting students, especially juniors, to be committees  for an event or organization,the first thing that come to their mind is they have to dance.nonsense!please don't label people.it pollutes your mind with unnecessary and stupid thoughts.eventually it'll make you look stupid.

put that aside.what i'm trying to say is how inconsiderate a human can be over things that don't concern them.dancing isn't just about moving to the beats.it's more than that.a whole lot more than that.especially when dancing in group.we need cooperation among the dancers,synchronization with the other dancers,expression of the songs and passion in the dance.it's a symbol that we try to show them.we don't need applauses or any standing ovation from the audience.but an appreciation is enough.an understanding of how much hard works we put into the dance.

who said that dancing doesn't need to get focus and give commitment?a practice for a day may take the whole day just to learn the steps for a single verse,depends on how complicate the steps are.we don't play when we practice.it is always serious.like a group of corporate men having a meeting.it's just that we do our meeting with dancing.it's frigging tiring!is it too hard to understand that we use a lot energy that we are short of ATPs until a lot of lactic acid accumulate in our muscles?

there are certain people who don't like things we do.we are those who show off our body to other people.we are those who do things that aren't supposed to be done.we are the sinful people.oh..maybe these people forget that they come from a cultural race.forgetting how different the ways we are brought up by our parents compared with theirs.

if you don't like what we do,that's ok.we can't care less.but next time don't find us,asking for ANY dance performance.we don't dance to get humiliated.we dance because we love to and we want to preserve our culture.we don't condemn on what you do because we know you fight for your belief and we RESPECT that fact being the most humble servant we are to The Creator.so please don't condemn us for fighting ours.

and yet there are people who don't judge others easily.thanks to those who understand our circumstances.to any event organizer who still want us.thank you for the supports.please forgive me for my harsh words and sharp tongue.but if you don't think of us being like stated above,there's no need to be bothered about it.this is what i've been going through since high school.so please don't get touchy so easily.it annoys me.




p/s: i always think of how they let us,the bad people, do the dirty works and end up in hell while they,the good people, peacefully go to heaven.

pp/s: we, dancers don't really want to stay forever like this.we will change one day.to the better us.please pray for us.

ppp/s: i want to be a doctor.i'll stop dancing.soon.very soon.=)

saya kenyang, Alhamdulillah~

hai~ok tajuk memang sungguh tak ada kaitan.malas nak fikir tajuk.haha~sekadar nak kemaskini sikit la ceritera hidup saya.huhu.ingatkan makin senior,makin banyak masa belajar..sekali banyak pula aktiviti dan tanggungjawab2 yang diletakkan pada bahu saya.orang dah percaya,seharusnya saya berusaha.tak guna elak2..lagipun inilah masa nak asah bakat dan cari pengalaman.inilah masa nak praktikkan apa yang Tun Fatimah dah terapkan dan ajarkan pada para srikandi =).

mengharapkan pelajaran tidak menjadi tugas sampingan..insyaAllah..pelajaran menjadi satu keutamaan yang terpenting.berhempas pulas mengerah keringat,membelanjakan wang gaji sendiri untuk bayaran yuran ujian kemasukan universiti,menangisi kesilapan diri yang entah di mana setiap malam,hilang selera hingga tidak makan 3 hari,terlantar di kamar kekosongan seperti mayat hidup..sehingga sekian keseksaan hati ini tergilis..takkan saya sewenang-wenang mengabaikan janji saya pada bonda tercinta..

semoga Allah menuntun hatiku yang kacau..

banyak

banyak yang nak diceritakan tapi tak tercerita.
banyak yang nak diluahkan tapi tak terluah.
banyak yang nak dicakapkan tapi tak tercakap.
banyak yang nak ditangiskan tapi tak tertangis.
banyak yang nak dijeritkan tapi tak terjerit.
banyak yang nak dimarahkan tapi tak termarah.
sudahnya aku diam saja.
dan di sini mengukir kata mengulir rasa.
tak bersusun tak berlagu.
sumbang langkah kekok tariku.
entah bait mana yang kucoretkan.
semua tak jadi semua tak kena.
haih..tapi aku rela.
biar aku dengan caraku.
tak suka tak apa.
jangan pusing jangan pening.
kalau nukilanku bakar hatimu.
mudah caranya senang kaedahnya.
tinggalkan tempat ini.
kerana ini daerahku.
kerana ini.cerita.aku.

sekian...

lagi adrenalin!

has anyone been to bali?

=)

nak exam kot..bajet laa..

tak reti2 nak offline ke?tak reti. kalau tak online macam mana nak skype dengan kecintaan?haha!

hari ni aku rasa aku cantik.hehe.sebab aku pakai bracelet & anklet yang adin hadiahkan.haha.gedik kan?gedixX memang middle name aku.haha!

ok.bosan sebenarnya.saja memenuhkan blog dengan entry tak berfaedah ni.hee~

esok aku exam.good luck kat diri sendiri!hihi..best of luck to Adin,Hajar,Dayah,Sasi,Syaira,Syazana dan semua!



ok.dah bosan kat sini.bye~




p/s: aku memang ada banyak masalah.sila faham.

sangat suka

semalam aku sangat suka hati.pergi bandung celebrate 6th day.rupanya ada mag her world kat sini.tapi macam biasa la,dia translate jadi bahasa ibunda dia.memang aku kurang layan.tapi sebab ada promotion "Lucky Bag" aku sebat jugak satu.hehe..dapat a free t-shirt designed by local designer and it's kinda cool.hee~and i got some samples from bodyshop,and some skincare products from Elizabeth Arden.wow!memang berbaloi.walaupun aku ada target blusher from Revlon and a mini skincare kit from Elizabeth Arden.but it's ok cause the samples i got were much more bigger!teehee~

kami cari jersey Real Madrid.tak ada rezeki kot.no size for us.=(

lunch at our favourite cafe,had steak and pizza.Adin opted for steak and mutton fried rice.gemoX kan kami?hehe.ye.super sedap plus super affordable for that kind of dishes. =)

ingat nak watch movie..but then sebab lambat sangat kami cancel.

Adin belikan bracelet for belated birthday present.and for 6th day,aku dapat anklet.lama jugak aku berangan nak beli,asyik beli benda lain..sudahnya Adin belikan.haha!cantik~sebab simple je..aku tak suka la banyak2 hiasan and loceng2.crowded and bising.lagi pun,mana boleh pakai bunyi2,macam menarik perhatian orang semua tu.nasib baik aku tak suka sebab rasa macam kanak2 kalau ada loceng.haha!

bila balik sudah penat.solat isyak.selesai doa dan zikir,ingat nak rehatkan badan sekejap..sekali sampai pagi daa~haha!



p/s : pagi2 ada rasa sakit hati sikit.tapi dah ok dah.huhu.ayuh bersangka baik.tak baik fikir bukan2.kan?=)

farewell party

good morning!hari ni aku mood baik punya~orang masam dengan aku pun aku rasa tak kisah.kalau orang jeling aku pun aku nampak macam tengah sengih kat aku.hehe.baik kan mood aku hari ni?so, JANGAN SPOIL kan!ok.amaran sudah diberi.

hari ni last tutorial meeting for group 24 or E4..hehe..sedih la jugak walaupun aku tak kan pernah boleh ngam dengan certain ahli itu tapi overall aku senang dengan mereka.semua baik.tak terlalu serius.tak terlalu main2..jarang aku rasa mengantuk untuk tutorial sepanjang cardiovascular system. =)

so hari ni kami nak buat sedikit(read:macam2 ada!) makan2..ada nasi ayam,spagheti goreng,puding,pengat pisang,pancake dan buah-buahan.huhu..best kan?hihi..kejap lagi kena pergi rumah Duha tolong dia masak spagheti goreng.walaupun kerja aku masak hari2,tapi aku lebih kepada membantu sahaja bila ada majlis2 macam ni.. yela..kalau aku boleh tolong,aku tolong la.kalau aku busy dengan kerja lain,tak dapat la tolong..so kalau aku tak tolong,tak payah la fikir bukan2 atau buat sebarang spekulasi yang aku ni pemalas segala plus tau datang makan je,sebab aku bukan buruk lantak pun.

ok.to all E4 members.good luck in everything lies ahead!gambatte ne! =)

kecik hati

kecik hati.

dengan semua orang.

kau, kau, & kau.

p/s: dah.dah.pegi main jauh2.jangan cakap dengan aku.jangan usik aku.aku emosi?memang!ada masalah?

sumpah malas!

aku malas nak layan perkara bodoh macam ni.

tolong jadi dewasa.

stop jadi budak2.

kalau kau meluat,aku seratus juta kali lagi meluat dengan perangai kau.